Little Miss Sunshine

Duke wrote this and sent it to me.. According to him, he started it while he was at Algiers, but got to the brownie part and stopped.. He finished it when he came back..

I simply love it.. Touching on so many levels.. It's like "Ouch!" and "Wow!" and "how on earth..." all rolled into one :)

He called it "Between Darkness and Light"... Enjoy..


He calls her Sunshine
But she likes the rain
A walk in the clouds
To take away the pain

They meet at the crossroad
Of darkness and light
He stares in bewilderment
As she stares in fright

She’s blinded by the darkness
He’s blinded by the light
In opposite directions
They fade out of site

A million miles away
He’s staring at the sea
Dreaming of tomorrow
Things he wants to be

A million miles away
She’s dreaming of the sea
As she slowly eats her brownie
And drinks her cup of tea

She looks across the table
To the place where they used to sit
Two lovers making promises, two lovers breaking up
She smiles and flips the page, as she takes another sip

The sea is quiet in awe
The moon is falling off
The sun is rising high, the light is creeping in
He’s thinking of the sunshine that he’s slowly writing off

Alone at bed at night
She dreams of a different world
Where nothing ever dies
Where no one ever leaves
She dreams of a different world
Where no one really cries
Where their paths again meet

At the crossroad of darkness and light

All faces of Eve..

Yesterday we went out, Duke & Meyo, Karembu, Du, and me for a very nice dinner at a new place in Mohand. (Massimo not Massimo's ya mayo :P)

Anyway so on the way back home, i had quite an interesting talk with Karembu about relationships and their relation with your phase of life.. My argument was eno based on your "age group" and other factors, people of the opposite sex start assessing your "potentiality" to make a good partner.. Of course i am talking here about single people..

Mainly it went like this: when i graduated 4-5 years ago, I was in the "she's nice.. a couple of years ahead she'll make a good candidate" phase.. it was cool back then, a guy can be nice to you within the boundaries of normal decency and you wouldnt go wondering what he's after.. similarly, I felt (more) free to express myself without being misunderstood (most of the time at least)..

Right now, its my prime :D People (guys) would go like "is she available? she seems interesting.. hmmm.. what if?" And then people (girls and guys alike) would go tell a guy "how about N? Isnt she nice? Why dont you check it out with her?" Don't get me wrong, I am not flattering myself or anything.. It's not specific to me this attitude, it hits almost every girl.. When i say this phase is my prime, i dont necessarily mean i like.. Quite the contrary, I dont welcome the fact that everything i say/do is analyzed and assessed to determine my "potentiality".. Anyway, so 5 years from now -if i am single- I will be in the "She seems too nice to have stayed single" phase.. and people would go like "What has this world come to if people like her are still not taken?" :D I am serious i know people in this phase... 5 more years ba'a and i will be in the "hmmmm.. i wonder why she's still single.. there must be some mystery" phase..

I am not going to express how i feel about these classifications.. I realize that marriage, couple-dom, and companionship/relationship is an integral part of our lives.. But i dont like being classified according to my work, education, OR "potentiality" :D

Anyway, so Karim's reply was "ah.. so you're looking for a 3arees?" :P

Hmmm... MEN!

Thoughtlings (smaller than thoughts)

In the corporate dinner thingie, i rediscovered my competitiveness :) I am one of these people who take games _very_ seriously, esp mental ones.. Dinner itself was not bad, seated not buffet.. good potato gratin, but was a little on the heavy side..

I had a totally work-free weekend.. next week i need to concentrate a little to get things done.. (cross my fingers)

I need to blog about blogging, its been 2 years now, which is funny because at first it started out as me wanting to share thoughts with my close friends only.. but now i discovered my blog has a base of unknown readers :D Its not my news hub anymore, but simply an outlet..

I love winter, i particularly love winter mornings.. December is also Christmas mood, so throughout all December, whenever I ride with Fancy in the mornings, its Christmas carols and songs time :D She has this weird addiction that throughout all December she has to listen to it.. tens of songs, some so cool, some not, but the cool ones definitely put me in a nice sweet mood.. So this song is one of my very favorites.. It has a tint of sadness in it, but what i like is the hopefulness.. the girl's sound is lovely.. perfect for a winter morning

Hey, maybe I'll dye my hair
Maybe I'll move somewhere
Maybe I'll get a car
Maybe I'll drive so far
They'll all lose track
Me, I'll bounce right back
Maybe I'll sleep real late
Maybe I'll lose some weight
Maybe I'll clear my junk
Maybe I'll just get drunk on apple wine
Me, I'll be just

Fine and Dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I won't let
Sorrow bring me way down

I'll be fine and dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I won't let
Sorrow get me way down

Hey, maybe I'll learn to sew
Maybe I'll just lie low
Maybe I'll hit the bars
Maybe I'll count the stars until dawn
Me, I will go on

Maybe I'll settle down
Maybe I'll just leave town
Maybe I'll have some fun
Maybe I'll meet someone
And make him mine
Me, I'll be just

Fine and dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I won't let
Sorrow bring me way down

I'll be fine and dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I won't let
Sorrow bring me way down

I'll be fine and dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I won't let
Sorrow bring me way down

'Cause I'll be fine
Oh, I'll be fine

Of Someones and Other Tidbits

had so much in my head to blog, but kind of ran out of words now.. Ideas i have, words i do not..

hmmm.. in the last week:

• Someone told me i should read a little about Extreme Programming (XP) (which i insist on calling Experienced Professional or something :D) and lent me a little o'reilly pocket book to brush up my knowledge
• Someone(s) i work with told me I dont complain enough! -lol- their point was that I take it as long as am able to handle (which is partially true).. the way i see it is that when i need to complain, i will have grounds eno "its very rare when i do, so i must be credible".. i dont think they take it this way
• Someone told me i am a workoholic -if only she could see me at uni- but then again, at uni i had this image of an "academian" as Hussam once referred to it.. always carrying many books, none of them is about any of my courses :)

I hate people who slack keda.. I discovered i really have a short temper for passive people, it makes me sick to my stomach.. and i've been having this lately a lot.. and then someone tells you "but he is kind ya haram!" and am like fa eih? Kind and so he unloads his load of problems on me and expect me to react? Even in problems that dont concern me at all, if i dont feel people are not trying hard enough, i am starting to find it very difficult to sympathize..

Possibilities scare me.. And the fact that possibilities scare me is scaring me more.. ok lets take this one at a time, possibilities scare me because they let me know what is attainable, they make me aspire, they open new doors.. they bring into existence a wealth of unguarded dreams/hopes, and this is scary.. It's like i told karembu i want "contentment", but then i find i can get "ecstasy" so what was acceptable is now not matching the criteria, and i "raise the bar"! :) As for the second scary fact, I always prided myself on being someone who welcomes change and is open to options, blabla, so the fact that i am scared makes me feel that i am so limited.. I feel that "ah so i want to be a happy settled person and thats it? Seriously N, I thought there was more to you than mere contentment".. So its an inner conflict, is it that i have no ambition? no horizon? or is it that i am sooooooo open to possibilities that i just accept them but am not willing to change them?

I seriously dont know.. this has to do with everything.. life, work, relations, all..

Yesterday was our annual corporate dinner... thats a story for another post..

Facts

* I walk too fast (at least for a girl)

* I have a dreamy/hazy look.. like am Delirium all the time.. Can give away the (false) impression that am slow or not concentrating

* I like it when I am a bit cold. When the chill reaches to my bones

* I dont like the color orange

* I dont like tangerines.. hate their smell..

* I drift a lot when talking or listening, which sometimes offends people and makes them think am not interested or am not listening, but I _do_ listen very well.. Seriously!

* I dont like watermelons, never did.. only eat them at my uncle because they insist I take fruits and it's these or mangoes :D

* I seriously believe in signs, and I interpret them any way I please

* I dont like assumptions

* I dont like recounting my dreams (good ones or nightmares)

* By the time I was 7, I had more books than toys :D

* I am proud of not belonging to one place, altho as a kid I was embarrassed of it and kept telling people I am only Egyptian

* I like to watch people and imagine what their lives are like

* I have the (unintentional) ability to listen to more than one conversation at a time -- barmi wedn.. I dont do it on purpose.. we call it a "H" thing (where "H" is my family name).. But its funny (for me at least) and the cool thing is that i admit it, I dont go pretending I didnt hear and stuff :D


The Anti-Whining Policy

Based on a new rule from a "senior authority", my team now has an anti-whining policy.. Anyone who whines, complains, or displays a negative attitude without providing a solution has to pay LE 2, that will be later used either for charity or to get us a Cilantro treat (still not settled :D)... my first thought, "If K had taken 2 pounds for everytime i whined to him...." why he wouldnt have taken anything of course!


Karembu and Duke are coming next week.. Another reason i like Winter, its season of migrating to the South :D everyone comes back to Egypt for the holidays... Almost everyone...

And... We're Back

In a sudden turn of events, mood is much better! Went Zamalek on my own. Walked a while then went Diwan. For someone who hasnt seen a really good book in a long while, i was thrilled when i found a GREAT book (a non-fiction, business-oriented one ya K!) Zeww had told me about it (will blog it out later).. Anyway, had a great cup of lemon tea while i sat and read almost all first part...

Great mood booster! :D

Life is tough (or is it?)

(my 3 weeks+ post is still in the incubator or something.. anyway.. )

So... I've been discovering a number of facts about myself.. I started feeling guilty whenever i am having leisure time.. yesterday i decided to just relax and enjoy the day off.. i couldnt.. I mean i ended up not doing anything alright, but i couldnt fight the guilt, and the constant nagging feeling that there is still stuff to be done.. I called Du for reassurance, WRONG MOVE! For her, leisure doesnt exist.. we're always behind on some master plan.. If I manage to finish all my work, then i should study something.. if i work and study, then am not taking care of my health and looks, not drinking enough water.. if i do all this, then am falling behind in family obligations.. she scares me! and after all this, you must remember to take time off to pamper yourself.. I told her this way you will grow old very fast.. you will be at 40 yrs, having done what people do in 50 yrs.. She thinks its quite the opposite: you grow old with regret when u feel you couldve done better... She thinks that me feeling guilty when am not doing anything is actually a very good sign.. Crazy Woman! and i am turning into one myself..

I started getting more and more nuclear each day.. Its not that i isolate myself from people or things, but i try to limit my exposure to the external world.. i have my team, my friends, my stuff, my books, my ideas/hopes/dreams.. and i dont find myself obliged to share these with anyone.. I get scared away pretty easily... dont want anything or anyone to tie my down.. This is all coming to me in a time where i realize am getting old(er).. I miss being young, i miss being able to make silly mistakes and get away with the "she's still young" excuse.. I miss being impartial to everything, being open to life, and being willing to embrace differences...

I am getting too much input from everyone and everything around me.. from the time i wake up, i am bombarded with choices.. what to wear, how to go, when to go, what to do.. Then i go, need to remember places and people and dates and times.. need to plan and think, then execute.. too much input... The thing is, i need every inch of my limited brain power to use it in more useful stuff.. But its getting wasted... I need to block out external noise, and concentrate!

Passing by university alwaya fills me with a mixture of emotions.. nostalgic longing, dreamy hopes, and silent "what if"s.. in Cilantro Tahrir now, sitting in the balcony alone.. Nancy was with me but left off to her course more than an hour ago.. and am staying for a couple more hrs..

Hmmm.... what else.. i like winter.. and i dont like my recent blog posts.. i like having a "formed opinion about everything" as Du calls it.. being able to define the tiniest details and how i relate to them.. Defining life as an array of likes and dislikes.. and a biiiiiiiiiig grey area...

I need to take time off to think.. And I need to adapt to growing up :D

Hallucinations

"I disregard the proportions, the measures, the tempo of the ordinary world. I refuse to live in the ordinary world as ordinary women. To enter ordinary relationships. I want ecstasy. I am a neurotic —in the sense that I live in my world. I will not adjust myself to the world. I am adjusted to myself."
~ Anaïs Nin

I love this woman.. check out her stuff (wont provide any links here).. this quote is one of the best things I've ever read. I need to write it down once in a while to remind myself of what I relate to and who I am..

So, short points:

• I've been composing one blog post for the past 3 weeks.. not able to finish it yet.. Writer's block.. Boredom.. Futility.. Call it what you may!
• Words I use a lot lately: Futile, pointless, as long as (and i say it in Arabic as "badam" not "madam", dont ask!), 3adi ba'a, tayeb, and "ay 7aga, i dont want to choose"
• Recently, a lot of people are starting to give me the kind of input that has no answer by "tayeb" :D Example: Person: "I was looking for blabla and i didnt find it".. Me: "tayeb".. Person: "what do i do now".. Me: "did you look somewhere else?".. Person: "No".. Me: "tayeb.. LOOK SOMEWHERE ELSE".. I used to enjoy people coming to me asking for help.. I still love it actually, but as a friend from uni used to say "Am not the nanny!"
• For almost the first time since i graduated, i went back to listening to Suzanne Vega again..
• Current playlist: Souad Massi, Elham Madfa'i, Suzanne Vega, and Tony Hanna..
• Karembu got me yet another Neil Gaiman book, Stardust ;) Perfect... the story of Tina that i never got to tell was that she got me his latest creation, Fragile Things.. from her oompa loompas.. Tina, you are sooooooooo cool.. Karembu, the book looks great (and used!).. We were fe sertak today at work a lot!

One word comes to mind now: impartial..


Bisous,
N.

Yet another cross-reference!

Read this all through (you dont have to do the comments)

http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2006/11/small_pleasures.html

Then read this:
http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2006/11/who_cant_be_hyp.html


Now, for some weird and unknown reason, i checked out Dilbert's blog before i go to work today, and read the Small Pleasures thing... And you know what? I _did_ have a good day... Just like magic! :D

Seriously, I want to write like this guy.. Really gets under my skin...


Bisous,
N.

Starting your day with a little Dilbert :)

http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/

Check his "Are Smart People Dumb?" and "Fences".. This guy is genius!

"Your typical day is full of moments where you ask for a cup of coffee and someone hands you a bag of nails. You don’t realize how much time you spend re-explaining things until you no longer need to."


This is not an official blog post..

Locked out

I couldnt find my home key. No, its not bcoz am absent-minded. Its not bcoz i dont plan. And i dont need the "how on earth" lecture but thanks anyway. It happens to anyone and its the 1st time it happens to me. A time when i really needed to go home and unwind. No one is at home or can come to the rescue b4 an hour :) and phone battery died. LOL. Anyway am at Harris Florida, phone charging, and am blogging from it now.

As i started saying recently, "ana bada2t at3assab"!
But its not as bad as it sounds :)

Some thought..

There is a nagging recurring thought at the back of my head and I cannot get hold of it..

Very upsettling (a cross between upsetting and unsettling)..

The Coffee Bean and Other Stories

So, today I had arranged to have coffee/late breakfast with my pregnant friend Ozzi and as a treat she decided to take me to Zamalek.. We agreed to try Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf since we both never tried it.. So, we meet in Korba, go to Zamalek in 20 mins and start looking for abul fida (we both totally forgot how to get there and kept randomly choosing streets!) then, upon finding it, looking for a parking spot.. this process took double the time we took on the way from Helio! aaanyway, we go in, check the place and menu out and decide to give it a go.. We stand to order. No other customers are at the counter so we take our sweet time thinking out loud.. meanwhile, the cashier gets bored and decides to go get Ozzi's coffee ready while the 2 spoiled brats (us) make up their minds while giving us the "whats taking you so much time" look!! We order and take our coffees upstairs to be followed by our sandwiches.. And here is what happens:

* My sadnwich comes without a knife and fork even tho there is a side salad with it

* Both plates + coffees come with NO napkins whatsoever.. Nothing, Zero, Null! Not even paper coasters to put the plates on.. Yalla ma3lish, I go look for napkins.. I look @ the sugar stand, but there is nothing.. So i go downstairs to the lady and ask for some.. She looks at the ground where there is one of these biiiiiiiiiiiig bags that cotain like packs of 5 thousand napkins, looks back at me and say "la2 ma3andeesh!!!!!!!!" COME ON WOMAN, I can see the BAG! I think am hallucinating and go back upstairs.. We see another waitress upstairs, I ask _her_ for napkins and she says ok.. 10 mins later, nothing.. I ask again, she says ok.. 10 mins later, still nothing... we are having a good time so we dont mind the sloppy service.. We notice that everyone around us is having coffee/drinks only.. no one eating.. we think "so they're not used to ppl ordering food here!" Oz finishes her sandwich and ask for napkins from the same woman.. 5 mins later she comes back. They must've finally opened that magic napkins bag because she comes back with one.. YES, o.n.e. napkin!!!! we look at it, at her, at each other then burst laughing.. She doesnt get it.. We split the napkin after she leaves..

* 5 mins later she is cleaning our cups, my sandwich is in my hand, she looks and it, and takes away my plate!! Wallahi I am not kidding! As if "you're holding the sandwich khalas, you dont need the plate". I stare after her in disbelief...

Anyway, the rest of the adventure is uneventful, as we run into Fancy by chance (a friend from work) who joins us for the remaining hour, then run into MB (another guy from work) & his wife..

Go there for take out stuff... Service is sloppy.. not the kind that you can actually fight about, but just the kind that makes your mouth drop in disbelief :D

Sometimes you think you’re unhappy, but you’re really tired

--
Prologue
I wanted to blog one of my multipoint posts.. but it will take time and brain power.. so definitely not now.. for now here is something to get you going... (Note to self: remember to tell them about Tina's Elephant and Kouiedar Communism..
--

Soooooooo, Zeww (a.k.a. Yasmine) has introduced me in recent weeks to the Dilbert blog (yes, Dilbert the cartoon strip).. Back when we were in IBM we both identified our common interest in his cartoons and we both related to them, but it was the first time i discover that Scott Adams, the cartoonist, has a blog, and a VERY interesting one for that...

What does he blog about? well, mostly "life, the universe, and everything".. He blogs about corporate life, career paths, affirmations, success, religion, knowing when to quit, news, and politics.. and being an eternal optimist yet a profound thinker, he guarantees a good read everytime..

Why am I talking about him? because in one of his latest posts, he established the title declaration, "Sometimes you think you're unhappy, but you're really tired".. Interesting post that came in a most interesting time..

On a more serious note, and for the politically inclined (or even those who arent but wouldnt mind the occasional thought-provoking), check out his Sunday blogs dedicated to serious stuff, particulary this one ... His argument is straight and smooth..

I initially planned to blog about how i related to his optimism/energy article.. but i am going to hold that thought for a couple of days...

Meanwhile, check out his blog and browse previous posts.. chances are, you wont be disappointed...

Cheers,
Nagbert :)

p.s. oh, and if i ever get my own company, that is how i will design cubicles :D

p.p.s. reading this post again, i seriously dont like how its written, so i will pretend i didnt read it again :D

Round and round and round... Vicious circles..

My whole life is a bit round around the edges. No sharp angles, no pointed corners. There is nothing definite, nothing determined, everything open to discussion. I just fade out or phase out then blend in because I believe I choose my battles, and right now I cant find a battle worth fighting. That's what you get when you cross a circle with real life.

*
Today I am
A small blue thing
Like a marble
Or an eye

With my knees against my mouth
I am perfectly round
I am watching you

I am cold against your skin
You are perfectly reflected
I am lost inside your pocket
I am lost against
Your fingers

I am falling down the stairs
I am skipping on the sidewalk
I am thrown against the sky

I am raining down in pieces
I am scattering like light
Scattering like light
Scattering like light

Today I am
A small blue thing
Made of china
Made of glass

I am cool and smooth and curious
I never blink
I am turning in your hand
Turning in your hand
Small blue thing

~ Suzanne Vega, Small Blue Thing

Random..

* "Fear of Committment = Fear of Committment"
A wise one once said it, and I am only starting to understand it now.. Just a random thought not linked to anything..

* I am bored.. not as in now, but as in gerenal, in life.. I dont even know if "bored" is the word for it.. Wondering about decisions i made, and (much worse) about decisions i didnt make.. No one can change this state.. "Go out, work out, blablablabla".. i do all this.. I work out, get that funky adrenaline rush, then an hour later am back to square one.. The solution lies in my own hands, i know it, i dont want to share it, and i still didnt gather enough momentum to make it happen...

* Nina, my cousin whom i saw once in my life and who lives in UK, got engaged in a fairy-tale-like manner.. real fairy tale, he surprised her in Paris where she was on vacation, and while walking together, she heard 5 jets above her, her 1st thought was "they're going to bomb us like beirut", her 2nd thought was "wow it spelled Nina will you marry me?".. Weird :) and only heard about it in movies.. whats making me actually like the guy is that he studied @ Harvard Law and has a PhD from Stanford :) must be an interesting person to talk to, dont you think? (Karembu, this story is not a fragment of my imagination!)

* Nine Million Bicycles

Tina sent me the YouTube link to this song, read the lyrics below and check out the video here.. the girl's face is sooo lovely, the lyrics are cute and the video is cooool!

There are nine million bicycles in Beijing
That's a fact,
It's a thing we can't deny
Like the fact that I will love you till I die.

We are twelve billion light years from the edge,
That's a guess,
No-one can ever say it's true
But I know that I will always be with you.

I'm warmed by the fire of your love everyday
So don't call me a liar,
Just believe everything that I say

There are six billion people in the world
More or less
and it makes me feel quite small
But you're the one I love the most of all

We're high on the wire
With the world in our sight
And I'll never tire,
Of the love that you give me every night

There are nine million bicycles in Beijing
That's a Fact,
it's a thing we can't deny
Like the fact that I will love you till I die

And there are nine million bicycles in Beijing
And you know that I will love you till I die!

After Midnight Thoughts..

* My nephew @ Cornell's!
I have 2 adorable nephews (altho they got to the age were "adorable" is not exactly the word to refer to them!).. Anyway, so the eldest has gone this year to college.. he's always wanted to study medicine, and fortunately he did it.. Cornell's University (NY's Cornell) opened a Medicine school campus in Qatar and thats where he went.. yes its Qatar and all, but on the good side: it is _the_ same university, better facilities (after all its the gulf), better student-teacher ratio, and closer to home so he can hop in for holidays and stuff.. its a funny feeling to have your nephew studying medicine, listening to Opeth and the like, and up to your own mental level in most conversations.. I have an interesting familial structure, but thats a story for another day..

* Intolerance
A while ago my msn name was "N - Tolerance" (recently it is always "N- ", so K commented that in fact it was pronounced "intolerance".. Recently, i developed severe intolerance to some things and people... intolerance to what? hmmm, almost anything.. a couple of months ago i was in this meeting with a girl i was meeting for the first time, and in spite of everything i couldnt take my mind off the idea that "HER NECKLACE IS MAKING SO MUCH NOISE GODDAMIT!" seriously, something as silly as a jingling necklace just ticked me off.. other things, well, zaman, a couple of years back i had the tolerance to actually listen to almost anyone.. now i just feel like walking away when people are talking.. keda.. Its not worth the hassle for me anymore to engage in conversations i dont like.. i even stopped saying full sentences, even in conversations am enjoying.. well, i've had that missing word thing always but it just got worse.. but its worst when am not enjoying the talk.. i just ignore, look the other way, change the subject, or just give silly answers.. funny thing is, i drift aslan in any conversation, so it takes a real expert to know whether am drifting because am bored or just because am a born-drifter.. oh well, whatever, never mind..

* White Noise
K introduced me to that (i knew it from the movie but didnt know ppl actually use it), and truth be said, at first i thought it was plain stupid :D its the kind of "sssshhhhh" distortion you hear when you're in between radio stations.. well, apparently its gaining wide popularity abroad.. tried it ba2a once when i was in no mood for conversation, no mood for listening, no mood for nothing.. i just put my earphones and tuned my phone's radio to white noise... pure isolation.. kind of creepy and introvert.. but when the mood is here, its here..

* The Cat that Walked by Himself
'... it is I: for you have spoken a word in my praise, and now I can sit within the Cave for always and always and always. But still I am the Cat who walks by himself, and all places are alike to me.'
~ Just So Stories, Rudyard Kipling

I like the previous quotation.. I get very attached to memories: smells, sounds, feelings, whatever they are.. but just as well, i walk by myself... kind of like this McD commercial, the guy is walking by, passing people and just walking on by.. I stay -more or less- stable, a sign of the times and all that.. but i want to go for a while.. I want to be the one chaging sceneries instead of having sceneries change around me.. 7aga keda... "I am the Cat who walks by himself, and all places are alike to me." but i just wish i can find one place to be _my_ place, the place..

* New songs I like
- Jewel's "Goodbye Alice in Wonderland"
- Blue October's "Hate Me".. Pretty negative, but i like the music and lyrics
- Green Day's "Extraordinary Girl"
- Losing my Religion.. not new but an all-time favorite
- Rihanna's "Unfaithful"
- Sandy Thom "I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker"
- Robbie Williams "Advertising Space"

* To sum up,
I hate these three words.. If you could sum it up, then you should've sum it up!


Signing off,
N.

My Dear Sisyphus: Scenes from a Memory

I realize its not written nicely and not catchy enough, but i write it to document my memories, and for nothing else.. If my thoughts are incoherent or incomplete, just let it go..

During the past year and a half, I've gotten to know one of the closest people ever to me.. You may know him by his real name, K. (not to be confused by Amrika's Karembu!) or you may know him as my friend, or you may be friends with him.. One way or the other, chances are you know him. He is leaving soon, sooner than I'd like to think, TONIGHT, to a new territory and a new life.. brave? Very.. Envy him? more than he knows.. Worth it? Possibly so.. Stupid? Certainly hope not :D Will miss him? Like hell....

So given that my scope in gifts is limited, I give him a _very_ customized gift.. no its not a scarf i knitted for him, although he could use one where he's going!
I give him a blog post..

Scenes from a memory....

His First Time: Orientation and CP
First time was in his newcomers orietation here.. I was still new at my job, and I made it my personal cause to make sure that everything is smooth and everybody is happy.. anyway, so after a session on a tool called CP, i found him standing with H -our CP authority- in deep conversation.. i walked up to them and stood to make sure all is ok and the guy doesnt have any issues... Of this day he later told me, "i found you -a girl i didnt know- walking up to us with this BIG grin on your face.. and you stood with us just listening to what we're saying.. and i wondered who you were and what you were doing imposing on our conversation like that."

His blog and lame pottery classes
I got him on my msn list, and i discovered he had a space there where he blogs.. he was writing about pottery classes, and i was thinking "wow this guy is so cool" until he said "i have one word for you.. LAME!" :D

His "Honey, can we jump now?"
One of his posts had this line.. It was then when i knew i was getting to know someone different, he was up to adventure and wondering why "change" isnt a good word in our culture.. he wanted to be able to take chances without looking back..

His "Souad Massi" pickup line ;)
He discovered Souad Massi and i was there to witness it.. we used to comment on each and every song and what it made us feel.. one day he came in the morning telling me he was in cilantro wanted to get me coffee but didnt have my number (JUST ASK FOR IT) so I gave it to him... Next day at night, he sms'es me saying he is at Cilantro and Souad is playing and that I wouldve enjoyed it... It was the best pickup line he couldve EVER used :D

His Eternal Question: Is the juice worth the squeeze?
Days came and went, and he came up with the juice theory.. in this theory, he established that instead of waiting on "What-if"s he would just do it... He would make the effort then see if the juice was worth the squeeze... My verdict? it was soooo worth it!

His Sunshine
-enough said!

His Promised Land
He told me about his plans to leave in Summer 05 when we were outside Costa (a place we both dislike).. back then i thought this was still more than a year ahead and it was too early to talk about it... well, turned out a year is not that long anyway.. Everyone has a "promised land", a place where they dream to make home.. his promised land was Canada and he was halfway through making this dream come true..

His Cilantro
Cilantro witnessed our best times and most meaningful silences (in fact, Cilantro was the only place i can actually stay silent :D).. our first was Cilantro Zamalek, but others came along.. a couple of days ago, we were walkng there and ran into the same eternal rababa guy :D which was funny because altho he appears to stay there, we ran into him before at the other Cilantro at Abul Fida.. Cilantro is the place we never got tired of.. Korba in particular witnessed dozens of discussions and talks..

His Zamalek
Zamalek... what can i say? :D Breakfasts, morning walks, late night walks, his solo Thursday night drives that i envy.. the nile, the marriott, 26 July, the ahwa at the end of 26 july where we had tea :D, pizza by the nile in ramadan, the Tao shop near Tabasco where i got my bracelet and he got his dried rose candle...

About candles, for some weird and unknown reason, i got Kareem a total of at least 5 candles throughout the time i knew him :D of course he later admitted that he doesnt particularly like candles, but the ones i got where mostly chocolate/coffee themes, and the one shaped as an icecream sundae (amazing replica) and of course the dried flower one..

His Sa2ya
Our cursed place.. no matter how hard we planned it, we could never go to this place together... i've gone tens of times and so has he, but never together.. interesting how such a place can have that effect on us :D

His New Job

His Fortress
Basata was his Fortress of Solitude like he calls it... his last visit was in November 05.. i always hoped we can arrange to go there once since i've never been there and i wanted an expert.. but maybe in his next vacation...

His Blog-jacking! (or is it mine?)
in our infinite talks, i used to go like "Now _that_ is a bloggable thought" whenever such a thought came up.. he thought i was stealing his ideas, when the truth was that i was his muse :D

His New Blog
He started it as part of a personality/identity change he was going through..

His Flying Partner *the manga incident!*
He had the (bad) luck to sit next to me in a plane :D for those who dont know, i love flying yet i tend to get really airsick, so i take motion sickness pills.. thing is, i usually take more than i should, so i end up being literally "stoned".. So am having the window seat (since i dont get to move a lot in a plane) and i open the window, stare at the lovely clouds then turn to him and ask "Di ghoyoom di walla manga?" dont ask what i meant because i honestly dont know! the closest (and only) explanation was that i wanted to say they looked like cotton candy :D

His Birthday
"Cigars & Red Wine for Children" by the Nile :)

Our Discussions
Long long long arguments and discussions about men, women, right & wrong, religion, politics (very rare!), books, movies, music, work, work, work, career issues, work again, people, attitudes, family, friends, work tani.. travelling, and finally, my nemesis, Canada.. actually before him, i never gave Canada a second thought.. now i almost like it :D


K.-

You're Homer's Sisyphus and I'm Voltaire's Candide, and between the two of us, we create an impossible yet beautiful world. Pleasure and pain, lots of pain :D

Here's looking at you kid.... With all the luck in the world to one of my bestest friends ever..


I have spoken. (borrowing his line)


N.

Frustration

Pure frustration. I spent 3 weeks preparing a draft post I intended to blog it tonight, just to find our dsl messed up. Very pissed off. Anyway, K is leaving tomorrow night/saturday dawn to Canada/Kanaba. The idea that i dont actually know when i'll see him again is literally driving me crazy, its not like work/study trips, its a life. Having been one of the closest ppl ever to me, seeing him leave is scary.
Memory is a terrible thing.

K, my prayers are for you.

I want to believe..

For another "I Believe" post of mine, do read this.. It is one of my favorites...

No mood to blog awi.. you probably know why (if you dont, akeed you'll see me blogging it some time..) For now, read this, too "childish" and telling you what you want to hear like Duke says, but i like it and believe in it -for now!-..

I believe the sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy
I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold

I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair
I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe forgiveness is the key to your unhappiness
I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed
I believe that God does not endorse TV evangelists
I believe in love surviving death into eternity

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

~Savage Garden, Affirmation


I just love the last four lines (the song's chorus)..

Alone-ness and Loneliness

Unlike what i always thought, i really like being alone. What i didnt get was that am sad/melancholic when am lonely not alone. In certain moods i prefer my own company to anyone's. Or i prefer the company of friends who dont ask for the typical happy face when i dont feel like it.
In Marina blogging from phone. nerdy, no? not a marina type at all, too mainstream, but today i enjoyed a couple of hours in Mo with sis at beach after hours. Lake, sunset, no ppl, and Rabi3 abu Khalil music. Inner bliss.

Cilantro morning :)

Sleepy as hell but excellent atmosphere and music. Almost makes up for their recent decline in service.

Blogging from phone. lol.

Nostalgia

Am in a really nostalgic mood these days.. To top it off, I heard 2 phrases yesterday that brought up a load of memories:
Smart Cards
Hong Kong

Now anyone who knows me well enough will know what these mean/meant to me..

Zeww (Yasmine) was on a one day office visit between her assignment @ Dubai so she passed by my desk, took one look at the document am reading and went like "yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" (she knows the history i had with SCs!)

HK ba'a.. they brought it up in the talk about contactless SCs implemented there, Karembu ;)

SCs get me real emotional/passionate (to the point of trying to convince my mngr @ IBM that they needed to support my research for SC opportunities!).. but thats a story for another day..

On my mind...

* Le Liban
Things are going crazy in Lebanon.. they hit the airport, gas stations, sea ports, bridges, and highways... in short, they're ruining the lebanese infrastructure! You dont like it? "Well, blame Hizbullah! they are the one's who dared to talk back to us".. Dont get me wrong, i am against violence in all forms, but when someone offends you or your country, then you should show them where they stand.. no one spoke up when they kill or capture hundreds, but capture one of theirs and it's hell.. Dont blame the people who got you your Liban back, again blaming the _wrong_ enemy.. What I wonder about is this: Where the $#%#^ is the Lebanese army and government? How can they stand and watch it happen? Least they can do is stand next to HA until this is over and then they can reprimand HA for getting them into trouble... Saudi Arabia condemned what HA are doing! Come ON! no one asked you for support, but ya3ni when you have nothing good to say, say nothing..Why are you condemning the attack? Is it because your ever-so-spoiled people has had their ever-so-fancy vacation plans to Beirut and lebanese spas ruined? What kind of culture is this? how can you overlook what happens on a daily basis and only talk when you should be acting...
The shouldve-been-Arabic country that really takes a stand? Iran.. makes me proud.. best researchers, best scholars, philosophers, and still they have the guts to take a stand! In fact i noticed them first when i was at uni and a philosophy professor talked about their president (ex now) Mohammad Khatami, a philosophy researcher that was very modern, yet very down to earth and sticking to his principles.. Forget about religious inclinations and all, these people really hold their ground.

Anyway, enough about me and politics.. I wrote this in my post draft so I had to share it anyway..

* The Wednesday Effect
Last Wednesday K. was reminding me when i first knew him that he thought i was crazy because -unlike all people- on Wednesdays i didnt feel happy tomorrow was a Thursday.. instead, i always had the "would they insert just *one* more day before Thursday?".. Funny thing is, he said that just after i was having this thought (he thought i stopped it but he still thinks am crazy anyway).. The thing is, one usually sets the "by the end of this week" kind of milestones.. having said that, my wednesdays always come too early and i wish there were one more day in the week squeezed between Wed and Thurs..

* Me and Google.. (or "Another bloggable thought stolen from K.")
I google just about everything in a coversation.. in fact, if you ask me a question, i will probably answer you then google it to send you a supporting hyperlink! :D
here's what happened... Kareem had part of a song in his msn name, i googled it and replied to him with another part of the song, plus my opinion altogether about the lyrics.. and here's what he said:
"without google i don't think u'd be able to survive
ah just google it and it will all go away. Google, the modern solution for modern problems... and u can smile at the end of the commercial"

funny thing is, HE googles as much as i do!


dont like this post but feel inclined to post it anyway..

Pieces of her..

She reads:
* A7adeeth Qodosseya
* Biblical Stories
* Alice in Wonderland
* Sidney Sheldon
* Jostein Gaarder
* Terry Pratchett
* Neil Gaiman
* Wikipedia :D (she used to choose random pages to read when really bored!)
* Anais Nin quotations
* Mahmoud Darwish
* Egypt Today when found with Kareem or Mayo :D
* Mohamed Salmawi articles if she runs into them but not otherwise


She listens to:
* Souad Massi
* Lili Boniche
* Norah Jones
* Nina Simone
* Bon Jovi
* Sting
* Santana
* Coldplay
* Alanis Morissette (depending on mood)
* Marcel Khalifeh - a cultural connection since childhood that goes way back in my roots..
* Notre Dame de Paris, the French Musical
* Mozart
* Enrico Macias
* Oasis, Travis, Queen, Bryan Adams, R.E.M, ....


She doesn't give a decent chance to:
* Naguib Mahfouz
* Pink Floyd (she only likes "Bike" and "It's a Miracle")
* Iron Maiden :D *until she listened to the studio version of Fear of the Dark*
* Political Readings (thought "The World is Flat" was a fantasy novel!)
* The Eagles


On her to-do list: (not in any particular order)
* Attend a concert for Souad Massi, Marcel Khalifeh
* Go to an Agassi match -realistically speaking, this wont happen - he announced 2 days ago that he'll retire after 2006 U.S Open :(
* Attend (isnt there another word?) Notre Dame de Paris musical, performing Garou
* Go to Paris, preferably in winter, George V Hotel, Maxim, Moulin Rouge, Lido, Louvre, Quartier Latin, Quatre-Saison market (soo2 khodar ya3ni :)), cafes de trottoire (spelling?)where street musicians play accordions, so typical but who cares!
* London
* Mecca
* Basata
* Lebanon/Syria


She cannot:
* Carry a smaller bag
* Stick to putting her money in a purse (instead of throwing it anywhere inside the bag)
* Explain why she doesnt take the last piece in a shared platter
* Help the wince when someone uses profane language
* Resist making eye-contact with cats :D
* Resist walking in the rain.. even the Egyptian muddy rain!
* Resist the intoxicating sun-sea combinitation
* Resist her eternal curiousity!


khalass,
N.

talking of many things...

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."


Sooooooooooooooo... i will not talk about all these.. but i will definitely talk about my life since the last post.. been writing points in a draft for this post for over 2-3 weeks now and now some of the points have expired but i will talk about them none the less..

* "Kanaba Thinking"

My latest "acquirement" (you required a "requirement", so u acquire what?).. it's a lovely wooden framed drawing that now lands on my desk... i called her "Kanaba Thinking".. why Kanaba, well for one, she really looks like a Kanaba.. and for two, its a story for another day ;)

So, what is Kanaba thinking about.. according to the latest resources (Kareem and myself) she is wondering about her lunch today.. or she is thinking "am staying late at work, how will i get home?" or she is pondering about the eternal question to "Life, the Universe and Everything" (we know the answer is 42, but what was the question?)

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, Kanaba Thinking.... (I *luv* the colors!)




And to get an idea about her in her natural habitat,




Thank you K. (where K is Kareem and not Kanaba) for this beautiful work of art :D


* Mayonaisa
Remember back in October (?) when i asked everyone who reads my blog to say a little prayer for Kareem's new job? Well, now we have a new candy-date, Mayonaisa, a.k.a Mai, Meyo, Da Wife (of Duke :)) and many others, who needs your prayers.. she is undergoing a career shift these days, and altho details are not yet clear at the time this goes to print, yet she really really really needs your prayers... so everyone, say a little prayer in your own language (even praw-praw-ish ya Tina!) that Mai can get what's best for her and be happy where she ends up..
*Note: too lazy to update this, but as of Sunday the 18th, she started her new job. Wish her luck.

* Dire Straits - Leonard Cohen
about Cohen, i just like the sound of his voice keda... and i like his lyrics,

Ah I don't believe you'd like it,
You wouldn't like it here.
There ain't no entertainment
and the judgements are severe.
The Maestro says it's Mozart
but it sounds like bubble gum
when you're waiting
for the miracle, for the miracle to come.

i believe Duke might like him if he tries it..

Dire Straits is another story :D i like him too.. and here lies the problem! its not a him, its a them :D the BAND is called Dire Straits and i thought it was a guy.. of course i had a very enlightening chat with Kareem about "Do you think a normal person would be called Dire Straits? are you for real?" :D el mohem, i now know he is not he.. he is they!


* The Universal Conspiracy
You know how Paulo Coelho goes on and on and on and on about this theory that "When someone really desires something, the whole universe conspires to help him/her achieve it"? Well, I'm starting the believe that the opposite is also true... Sometimes you _really_ desire something, just to find the whole existance conspiring to ruin it for you... I am not paranoid and I dont suffer from delusions of persecution, but i really sometimes get the feeling "Why are they ruining 'it' for me? Leave me alone!".. Sometimes a thing as silly as a question directed to someone else makes you go like "Get off of my cloud!"


* Tiramisu!
Discovered the BEST tiramisu in Cairo, Casper & Gambini's @ City Stars.. yes its a miniature portion, but thats the exact point.. it is the "right" portion... They're a bit over-priced for a mall hangout, but a must try.


So, la tantouna, here is the promised post :D


Cool,
N.

yaaay..

i know i should blog... i know i promised you all, and i will...... by Sunday max..

but for now, check this http://www.neilgaiman.com/journal/

go to the May 31st entry and check the letters ;)

Ramblings of a diseased mind..

(any thoughts mentioned hereunder are totally incoherent, not the thoughts themselves, but the line of writing)

* Ob-la-di, Ob-la-"dooda"

sooooo... yesterday was quite a day.. the day wasnt loaded, but there were many tasks that needed doing and all... anyway.. so i was supposed to get a document by the end of day (around 7) to work on it and send it at night.. so i think what the heck.. might as well work on it at home.. i meet with Kareem in korba, ideally for a quick coffee then going home.. we go Harris, i realize am pretty hungry so we decide to order the greek salad that we luv and lemon juice.. i was starting to get tense for some reason and i start to feel eno this day wont end well... i go like "Kareem, i bet you they will bring us lemon with milk not lemon juice.. just because we didnt say 'lemon WITHOUT milk'".. our lemon juices come, _and_ *surprise* it is indeed with milk... mesh mohem, it is still good.... a while later, our beautiful salad plates arrive.. looking fresh and delicious and full and the dressing looks nice :D... i look at it, at the cheese and the tomatoes, and the lettuce and the onions and that tiny lettuce piece on the top of an onion slice, and it looks back... what? a green lettuce looking back? eih da how cuuuuuuute... it is just a little green worm with little beady eyes... lovely :D i go like "kareem, dooda".. he thinks "she is talking gibberish again.. dooda?" then he looks at her... we call the guy.. am laughing my head off ba2a by then.. and we go without paying for the lemon milk :) all in all, was a good experience.. no more salad outside.. i mean come on! when i was the lettuce, i wash it leaf by leaf, scrubbing each leaf to make sure there is nothing left unseen... but look at the bright side, at least that means their stuff is _really_ fresh from the field, LOL... the brighter side is, it was *I* who got to blog it first!


* http://www.osamasaeed.org/AutoWudu1.pdf

check it out... very cool/funny.... everytime you think "what more useless inventions can they have?", the human mind surprises you yet...


* "time flies like an arrow"
We used this phrase in CSCI 422 in uni to illustrate how contextual meaning can make a difference.. so there is the regular interpretation.. and there is another one.. supposed there is a species of "flies" like house flies and fruit flies.. these flies they "like an arrow" :D
when Abdelbar said that in class, Khaled and Heba and I (422 trio :D) just started laughing.. weirdly enough, no one else got the joke.. or maybe they just didnt get AB himself... this course was probably the one i studied for the most in uni..
so it goes like "time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana" :D


*And there was light!
Duke is no longer the proud owner of his blog.. i mean he is proud alright.. and he owns it as well.. but no more witty/dark post.. i guess every notable phase of his life had to end with Senna.. (if u dont know what am talking about, i wont link to his blog here.. i quit doing that after i realized the enormous masses that reached my own blog this way :D

* Song of the day.. Or "did u think i was gonna let you off without lyrics?" ;)
It's Gavin DeGraw's "I dont want to be" (did i blog this before?).... i used to listen to it always with OzMoz in our way to work, she introduced me to it.. i suggest you check it out..

I don't want to be
Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me

Bloggables..

i've been writing this post over the span of almost 2 weeks, saving all subtitles and points in a draft... hence, it is full of knicks and knacks... i know you prefer a number of short posts rather than one big one, but i like it this way :D

* Close your eyes and it'll go away
hmmm.... this refers to a trait in the human mind keda when we choose to ignore the obvious if we seem to disagree with it.. Back in uni, in my last semester, i took an Intrusion Detection course with Dr. Kassas (who is a personal favorite as professors go!) Anyway, so a part of the course intro was about the human factor in computer security.. He told us that many times when admins notice an anomaly in the logs, they just "close their eyes and hope it'll go away".. and we related how this applies in many aspects of our lives... Another interesting fact we learned was that companies choose to put the surveillance cameras in obvious places rather than hidden places. Why? because even tho the hidden camera thing will make the attacker more careless, hence more prone to be caught on tape, yet the "visible" security tends to scare off a lot of perpetrators...

* My sister and Sims
The Sims is a "strategic life simulation computer game".. you get to "live" the life of ur players and make choices to acheive goals blablabla.. overall, the game can get addictive.. and these sims they have the cutest funniest language :D Anyway so my sister these days is getting soooooo addicted to it.. Examples? the other day she heard a baby cry in the street and she was "cuddle! cuddle!" (which is an option u do to babies in Sims :)) another example is that she dreamed about a crime (dont remember the details now) and she wanted to call 911 by clicking the choice and wanted to revive the guy.. i had funnier stuff to say about it but forgot.. if she's reading this, let her remind me :D

* Phonetic Alphabet
In Aviation, and other fields where verbal messages are communicated, they use whats called "phonetic alphabet" substituting a word for each letter.. it goes like Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, etc. (i used to know them all.. u know in case am ever asked to land a plane or something!) So the other day i listening to a song on Nile FM that was titled "Foxtrot Unicorn Charlie Kilo" :D and the nice thing is that other than that phonetic thing, there isnt a single bad word in the song! :D so i liked the way they implied it keda...

* songs
Suddenly discovered am out of touch with the current music world... so recently am doing a lot of "104.2"ing.. but only in unusual hours (late night and early morning coz i hate commercial time), and getting myself updated with the musical scene... songs i discovered and liked: the aforementioned phonetic song, Mattafix "To and Fro", Shakira's new song!!!! and Robbie Williams "the trouble with me" (i luv that one's lyrics, yes yes i am a bit weird!)

* Other common words in the Nag-tionary
"de7k awi!" and "beyda77ak".. i say beyda77ak to mean anything from cool, funny, ironic, nice, sweet.. overall, beyda77ak is something positive :D
"boss/bossi" i say that a lot when think out loud with someone or trying to explain..

* Panina Manina
Panina Manina was a trapeze girl who was a Ringmaster's Daughter but he didnt know until she fell and he saw the charm she was wearing... i finished the Ringmaster's Daughter by Jostein Gaarder and i loved it... read a nice but movie-like novel in the mental break.. and started Paulo Coelho's "The Zahir" (or "Ezzaher keda" as Kareem and i call it :)).. i like it so far and even tho big parts of it are sooooo Coelho-ish boring, yet there are some very cool thoughts in there..

* F8 (or "I like keyboard shortcuts so much that am obsessed about them, google them, and blog them")
http://www.cc-tips.com/LPMArticle.asp?ID=189

* Song of the day (and many many many other days too)

Money's just something you throw
Off the back of a train
Got a head full of lightning
And a hat full of rain
And I know that I said
I'd never do it again
Oh and I love you sweet baby
but I always take the long way home

~ The long way home, Norah Jones

p.s. that money thing.. it is soooo me :D


bass ba2a!

Variations..

* A tribute to him...
I have been with him for many months now.. more than 2 years anyway but who's counting.. i used to wake up to his sweet voice.. he used to help me remember everything.. people always contacted him to deliver a message to me because they knew how special he was to my heart... i spent a lot of money on him, but i always thought he deserved it.. for he was my contact with the real world.. when he was tired and drained he used to tell me for he knew i was the only one who can bring back life into him... he was always there for me...
then i lost him.. i didnt even realize i was losing him.. its just that all of a sudden i looked around and he wasnt there anymore..
My dear one, i want you to realize that i will never forget you.. you will always be my first.. i want you to know that even tho i moved on, starting checking out others, and even settled for someone else, yet the memories i have with you are engraved in my mind... yes i was rewarded with someone better, but he will never take your place in my heart... I will miss hearing your voice and seeing through your eyes...
My dear T610, i will always love you... i hope you have moved on as well.. i hope that you affect the life of whoever took you away from me like you affected mine.. i hope you bring them tears and laughs and pains and joys like you brought to my life...
I am now with a K750i... he reminds me of you in so many ways... yet he is more advanced than you.. i promise you i will try to treat him better than i treated you.. i learned my lesson the hard way... i know i was hazardous to your health, but i hope you manage to recover wherever you are now..
i will miss you waking me up in the morning.. i will miss your lovely "esh7eneeni" sound when you're drained of energy... my new love knows about you.. and promised to make it up to me.. we'll see about that :D i know he has better eyesight than you, and i hope that helps me see what i used to overlook with a 2 mega pixel sight.....

I wont forget you, but its time to move on...

* Blink
i saw this movie yday... lovely...

* The Gun and the Olive Branch
We've had an older edition of this book by David Hirst at home.. and i have previously read sections of it a couple of years ago and weirdly enough liked it... History is relative, we know that.. but sometimes reading someone's side of history helps you to understand.. Anyway, so i was at Virgin last week and decided to get a non-fiction book when i found the 3rd edition on display... soooooooo, i decided i will get a fiction and will read the one we have at home after i finish the story i bought....

* What am reading...
so, when i was in Virgin looking for something to read, i got Jostein Gaarder's "The Ringmaster's Daughter".. its a pleasant book so far... i am almost halfway through altho i started on Wednesday and am being very lazy, so reading this quickly means that i like it :D

* Music
James Blunt :) check him out..

* One final note
May those who love us, love us
And those that don't love us,
May God turn their hearts;
And if He doesn't turn their hearts
May He turn their ankles,
So we'll know them by their limping.
-- An Old Irish Blessing

thoughts...

* Politics
dont worry.. am not talking about politics.. am talking about my last post who no one seemed to read except Mayonaisa (Duchess Meyo :)) and Nerro.. this means eno i either lost my popularity as a blogger so you stopped checking my posts, or that you dont like me talking political :D so until further notice, am back to normal mode :D

* BCC (not BBC)
for some -weird and unknown- reason, i dont like the BCC feature.. it just bugs me.. esp when ppl send you the kind of fwd that makes you think eno "hmmm.. i wonder who else they sent it to"... i dont know why i wanted to blog this point, but am sure i had a pretty good reason.. ah.. its the gam3eya thing.. ppl send a reminder to pay a gam3eya and i feel like am the only one who didnt pay, just to find eno no one paid.. 7aga keda :D

* Words I say a lot
-eno (eno ya3ni i use it like the lebanese use it.. i am not bluffing, i seriously do!)
-cool
-eshta
-fa eih? (as in "so you did kaza kaza, fa eih? what now?")
-7asal kheir (ppl hate it sometimes coz it makes them feel eno am shutting them up but i say it when sthg happens to me, not only when it happens to others)
-yalla ma3lish (it started as a joke but it caught on :))
-alright (pronounced "orrite" :D)
-ah ok (i say it a LOT)
-fahem/fahma asdi?
- blablabla
- Something/Someone is such a cow
-keda
-bta3

(lol after reading my most said words, i felt eno they say about me eno am a very lala person.. am not.. i just take things lightly and i dont always communicate my tension)

* The Greedy Culture
They call Egyptians a consumer culture.. (you can judge if you're ever in a supermarket outside Egypt and you track the behavior of buyers).. What i discovered that its a thing common among our Arab fellows as well... did you check MBC 4 ads? did you notice that two of them revolves on the "mafi" attitude? "Mafi Philadelphia.. Mafi masroof".. "Mafi Danao.. mafi danao??? mafi danaaaaooo"
eno ya3ni we're not that much of mafagee3 fa cut it out already!

hmmmmm.... c'est tout for now... wait.... no lyrics or quotes or speeches? hmmmm... am listening to "Feelin the same way all over again" for Norah Jones... not bloggable awi.. now there is a bloggable song, Gavin DeGraw "I Dont Want to be"

i have other bloggable thoughts... some of them will have to do with the "young people with disposable income" theory discussed by Anonymous (a.k.a hussam) @ M &S last week.. its actually an interesting topic..

bbye now,
N.

Us and Them...

Oh, the white folks hate the black folks,
And the black folks hate the white folks;
To hate all but the right folks
Is an old established rule.

But during National Brotherhood Week,
National Brotherhood Week,
Lena Horne and Sheriff Clark are dancing cheek to cheek.
It's fun to eulogize
The people you despise
As long as you don't let 'em in your school.

Oh, the poor folks hate the rich folks,
And the rich folks hate the poor folks.
All of my folks hate all of your folks,
It's American as apple pie.

But during National Brotherhood Week,
National Brotherhood Week,
New Yorkers love the Puerto Ricans 'cause it's very chic.
Step up and shake the hand
Of someone you can't stand,
You can tolerate him if you try!

Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics
And the Catholics hate the Protestants,
And the Hindus hate the Muslims,
And everybody hates the Jews.

But during National Brotherhood Week,
National Brotherhood Week,
It's National Everyone-Smile-At-One-Another-Hood Week.
Be nice to people who
Are inferior to you.
It's only for a week, so have no fear;
Be grateful that it doesn't last all year!

~ Tom Lehrer, National Brotherhood Week (a really nice song, check it out)


So, *what* is the deal? (a la Jerry Seinfeld).. why are we fighting the wrong battles? why are we "hating all but the right folks" as Lehrer says? are we turning into another Lebanon? getting mixed up in internal turmoil so much so that we forget to see the big picture?
What is happening in Alex? What is the truth behind what happened? And how about this guy he caught? did you see his picture in the papers? it's like someone told him "e3mel 3abeet" and they took his picture!
What is happening with Palestine? how come the Palestinian guy comes to Egypt and he doesnt meet the foreign affairs guy? did he forget to call before he comes so he found no one home?

We, as people in general and as egyptians in particular, like to be prejudiced on "us" and "them"... I just believe we choose the wrong us and them... we draw the lines at the wrong boundaries.

I know i have an anti-political inclination... but i cant keep it in...

Just blogging it out...

"Uncyclopedia" definitions..

* Depression is a recurring disease, observed when a person gets 'depressed' into a smaller size at a slow rate on the order of
This results in increased bone density, slimmer figure, and all the fluids in the body being squeezed out of every pore.

* Did you know that the origin of the name woman, is thought to come either from "Wow man (look at that babe)", or "Woe, man (she totally destroyed my life)"? Another theory is that it comes from "womb-man" - man with a womb

(lol i luv that "woman" one!)

* Delirium, formerly Delight, is the youngest of the Endless. Feeling overshadowed by her older siblings, she became a rebel and began to dye her hair crazy colors and act out, spontaneously creating butterflies and the like at inappropriate times. She is a sweet girl though, and all the other Endless love her and nurture her. She was perhaps most hurt when Destruction left, because the two of them shared a special bond.



thank you Tina for this lovely discovery!

Signing off,
N.

Boomerang-ing (Part II)

(read the whole post.. its cool)

* Music
i like abdelwahhab... i know thats a weird thing, but i really really think this guy is/was something.. he is a music genius... its true he has a lisp when he sings (u need to really listen in order to hear it) but his music is amazing... i used to listen to him when i was a baby so i grew to like him.. i like how he takes from different music genres and infuses it to make his own style..
Anyway, so i have this inner conviction that if i like a certain band/music that very few people tend to like, then mostly people who share this liking with me will have a lot in common with me deep down, even if it does not appear to the naked eye.. but it has to be "different" music.. just like Souad Massi.. Suzanne Vega.. and some others..

* Roger Waters & Bob Dylan
hmmmm... so in one of my Delirious moments i told Sherif (a.k.a Duke) "Bob Dylan doesnt know what he writes" (dont ask me why i said so.. no idea!).. so the other day i was listening to Desolation Row and i go like "so why are they painting the passports brown? whats the significance?".. he says mesh enti olti he doesnt know what he writes, then dont ask! so i am telling the story to Kareem, and he goes like "yanhar ethwed" (he doesnt have a lisp, he just says this phrase this way :D), so he says "yanhar ethwed.. enti olti keda 3ala Bob Dylan? enti mesh 3arfa meen Bob Dylan da ya benti? da Roger Waters bta3 amrika" so i wonder ya3ni eih keda? ommal Waters nafso men fein? he says eno men UK akeed.. so i go like "ehm.... Are Pink Floyd British?" and Kareem says yes tab3an... "you live, you learn.. at any rate, you live" ~TP

* Cigars and Red Wine
So it was K's bday last wednesday.. we went out blablabla, but before that we were meeting up on our own.. so i know this guy likes cigars. In fact i know this guy likes Maduro cigars (its a way of wrapping not a brand).. you would think knowing such information is enough for you to buy him a couple of good cigars for his birthday(only a COUPLE.. we dont want to kill him or my bank account!).. anyway so a thorough search in the Duty Free in City Stars yields nothing but disappointment since i didnt know which is which... yet, determined not to leave the shop empty handed, i get him a box of these, with Cappucino chocolate inside.. they really did look like the real thing with the stamp and all... I hope he didnt finish it because i want to try it :D
I had also gotten a bottle of Sparkling Grape Juice to sip by the nile... why i didnt know what the "Sparkling" part, because you cant fill up on sparkling juice, so we had to spill some of it because the lovely cork would not fit into the bottle again :D So, cigars and "red wine for non-drinkers" by the Nile... what more can you ask for? :D

* Last but not least (with special dedication to latantouna, a.k.a. Pinky not the Brain)
Ever since i first heard this song, I love it and cant believe its from Pink Floyd... and in fact i memorized the first part :) since Tina threatened me against posting lyrics, i thought "Why not?" ;)

I've got a bike
You can ride it if you like
It's got a basket
A bell that rings
And things to make it look good
I'd give it to you if I could
But I borrowed it

You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world
I'll give you anything
Everything if you want things

(Complete lyrics available here!)


* ONE LAST NOTE :D

Two is, as defined by other people, one more than Zero. It is also three more than Saturday. To be precise, it's three more than 3:31 PM on Saturday, but no one wants to get that in-depth.
Two is also used to calculate the Radius of a Square.
Until quite recently, most people believed that two could most nearly be approximated as "one plus one" (or 1+1 in shorthand notation), but recent advances in the science of numerology have now redefined two as being equivalent to certain large values of the number one (hence leading to the infamous "2=1 Theorem"). This discovery has prompted the creation of a number of mathematical hypotheses, including The Unified Number Postulate and "2+2=∞/n."

~ From http://uncyclopedia.org/ article on "Two" ;)

Boomerang-ing (Part I)

(know i should blog Budapest, but bear with me.. its coming up)

* Career Woman
not really.. but would like to be one _soon_ day isA :D right now it's more of a "career girl".. am still trying to find what am looking for... one would argue i dont know it yet.. but i do.. i am just not clear about it yet and so i dont want to share it... my ex-boss in my current company once told me sthg like "you have something very few people have.. you put passion in what you do and you do it with dedication" or something of the sort :) (of course that wasnt WA who said so.. God forbid he says something positive about me! it was SA akeed).. I know i put passion in what i do.. many times i take things personally in my hands and i get it done.. i know i let many people down, but that mostly happens when trying to please everyone..
i like the fact that some people (even if they are very few) consider me to be the person they go to when they have a question that goes like "whom do i go to if i want to....?" and i really hate it when i feel i've stopped contributing positively..

* Meshmesha 3awwww
Nerro, a fellow avid blogger, said in one of her recent posts that she doesnt like peaches and apricots.. and it reminded me when a girl at work was offering Chris and i some meshmesh (i still get mixed up which is which) and i said "no thank you" and she insisted so i said "asli bakhaf menno" and its not like am really scared of it.. i just dont feel comfortable around it because it is vulnerable (and not because of the skin like Nerro but because of insects)... bass people made a joke out of it and called it "meshmesha 3awwwww" :D

* Plasticine
I was at a big stationary (S&A) last saturday with nevine and i was amazed by the quantities and variety of colors they have :) i found also all sorts and sizes of play-dough or plasticine.. I bought a small piece of white plasticine (selsal) because i wasnt familiar with the type so i wanted to try it out.. and i now have it on my desk.. a friend at work made me a small white airplane (that i had to destroy for need of material :)) and another girl made me a chapeau with a ribbon thats on my monitor at work... i decided to take this dough and play around with it in meetings.. and also when i need to vent off at my desk.. its more fun than ur regular stress ball because it doesnt just spring back into place when u leave it, but it absorbs all ur stress to make even a silly looking clump sitting there on the desk..

hmmmm... i had two other points to talk about but the "lovely" blogger refreshed itself and so i lost them because i didnt save... so i will post this now and continue points tom :)

Over and out,

a bit of Delirium..

skjdhfjksdgfsdgsewr sirheroyi sadfsg?

i am staying up now to do some work (am too lazy to explain all this now fa later ba'a)
anyway so am talking to Kareem online... and i have this habit that i do when i get stuck for a reply on msn, i just go like writing gibberish.. (see post title for details ;)) Anyway, so i go like this.. at the same time i am trying to make Kareem understand something and he was trying to convince me with something (2 different issues.. i always multi-thread my conversations :D)
So all of a sudden i go like "Sometimes when am talking to you, i feel this is what you actually hear.. you hear Nagia saying "sdjkhnsdas siefw!!""

anyhooooo, i thought this is a bloggable thought! :D

i am working on a document that suuuuuuuuuucks.. actually the document itself is ok... but the document i am trying to streamline with is killing me... a clear sharp bright deadly plagiarised document! i am so shocked! i cant explain more.. anyway.. we all steal ideas, but there is an element of smartness that doesnt let you get caught!


Yalla ma3lesh! ;)

piece of my mind..

She sits in her corner
Singing herself to sleep
Wrapped in all of the promises
That no one seems to keep
She no longer cries to herself,
No tears left to wash away
Just diaries of empty pages,
Feelings gone astray
But she will sing

'Till everything burns
While everyone screams
Burning their lies
Burning my dreams
All of this hate
And all of this pain
I'll burn it all down
As my anger reigns
'Till everything burns

Been listening to this song on my way to work this morning.. It's a lovely song.. aside from the dark lyrics, its really good..

I was thinking of stuff to post on my way here but they totally slipped my mind now... Anyway, i spent an extremely lazy weekend... i needed it i think.. I managed to finish NG's book :D it was a lovely lovely read... it had to have a bit of a visual description that made me hurt (he is a bit violent sometimes in his stories) but it was nice all the same....
It was a story about stories, and about songs..
Maybe now i will officially start "I saw Ramallah", and maybe not.. i dont live in a fantasy land, and i wont mind reading something that painful.. its just that i started it and it didnt "catch" me so am not that interested to go on.. I mean i tried Ghassan Kanafani and i liked him.. altho he wrote about politics and pain.. i like Mahmoud Darwish, a palestinian poet who captures all scenes in his words.. but i didnt feel this one captured me.. i will give it a chance tho.. being the accomodating person that i am :D and i will see how it goes...

hmmmm... what else.. kefaya keda for the day...


Ah, last week, on Thurs, Sherif arranged an HR breakfast at Chantilly for all the HR dept, and guess what, they asked me to join.. me and Wael -company president- (i dont write full names to reduce the google-ability! ;)) anyway.. so i was telling SA that i now belong in the "friends of HR" club.. aslan i stayed longer in the dept than any of the girls present there now, so i think i earned the honorary degree :D

one last note, i noticed that the comments area of my posts is designed mainly so that my humble readers exchange comments among each other with no referance whatsoever to the witty post by me :D

Cheers,
N.

Just because..

"You are so terribly nimble, so clever. I distrust your cleverness. You make a wonderful pattern, everything is in its place, it looks convincingly clear, too clear. And meanwhile, where are you? Not on the clear surface of your ideas, but you have already sunk deeper, into darker regions, so that one only thinks one has been given all your thoughts, one only imagines you have emptied yourself in that clarity. But there are layers and layers -- you're bottomless, unfathomable. Your clearness is deceptive. You are the thinker who arouses most confusion in me, most doubt, most disturbance."
~Anaïs Nin, August 1932 "Henry and June"

I disregard the proportions, the measures, the tempo of the ordinary world. I refuse to live in the ordinary world as ordinary women. To enter ordinary relationships. I want ecstasy. I am a neurotic —in the sense that I live in my world. I will not adjust myself to the world. I am adjusted to myself.
~ Anaïs Nin, March 25, 1933

I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.
~ Anaïs Nin, July 7, 1934

I love your silences, they are like mine. You are the only being before whom I am not distressed by my own silences. You have a vehement silence, one feels it is charged with essences, it is a strangely alive silence, like a trap open over a well, from which one can hear the secret murmur of the earth itself.
~ Anaïs Nin, "Je suis le plus malade des Surrealistes" Under A Glass Bell (1944)


(She is a French-American woman writer, born in my month but almost 80 yrs before me... funny how her writing seems so much modern :D)

Anansi, my new friend...

I saw it on display.. It was one of a kind, so i kept following it with my eyes everytime they change its place lest someone else would get it before me.. it was the end of the month and the financials were rough, so i didnt have what it takes to make it all mine.. Duke & Meyo wanted to get it to me but proudly i refused and waited....

Finally, it is mine..... Neil Gaiman's "Anansi Boys", the one copy that was in Virgin.. a lovely dark blue hardcover...

To get an idea of how i like this book, i even loved the dedication.. am in Chapter 3 now and it keeps getting better :)

I will only quote the dedication here:

"You know how it is, you pick up a book, flip to the dedication, and find that, once again, the author has dedicated a book to someone else and not to you.
Not this time.
Because we haven't yet met/have only a glancing acquaintance/are just crazy about each other/haven't seen each other in much too long/are in some way related/will never meet, but will, I trust, despite that, always think fondly of each other...
This one's for you.
With you know what, and you probably know why."


yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! my patience has paid off... Neil has finally dedicated a book for *me*!

"With you know what, and you probably know why." for me was "With eternal awe and admiration, because you're worth it" ("Because am worth it" like the L'Oreal beauty campaign)

searching on google, i found MANY ppl who blogged the fact that they liked this particular dedication because it doesnt go like "this is for the readers or the fans or whatever"..

I would luv to attend a book signing once for some writer i like... please?

Those who see the light..

In his genius reformatory philosophical work "The Republic", Plato establishes the grounds for creating a republic in the most "optimum"/perfectionist way (for no other choice of word that popped in my head)... Not a kingdom or an empire, but a republic...

Now am not a person who enjoys old literature, but i really enjoyed reading The Republic and many of its critique articles... i even read much more than what was required back at uni.. It amazes you how a book written around 390 years B.C. has so much reform in it, and yet, no one listened... among other things, he talked about women's education! Actually, he had a plan drawn out for a close-to-perfect education system... one that we are currently getting closer to but yet so far..

Anyway, what am about to write now is an idea that possessed me in this book; the allegory of the cave.. An allegory is a story or a representation conveying a meaning deeper and higher than its literal meaning...
Plato's allegory goes that there is a cave with a large wall.. in this cave there is a set of prisoners tied to have their backs to the cave's entrance and are facing the huge wall... behind them, outside the entrance there is an enormous fire.. sometimes people and animals pass outside the entrance and between the fire and the cave, thus casting shadows on the wall.... the prisoners -having never seen the outside- mistake these shadows for the real thing.. the voices of the people outside reflect as echo on the wall, and appear to the prisoners to be coming out of the shadows on the wall...

So mainly the prisoners see shadows and hear echoes... now imagine a prisoner was released and goes outside... he would be blinded by the sun (or at night-time by the fire), then as he slowly adjusts to reality, he will start to see things as they are... he will "see the light"..

Having seen the light, it is the free man's duty, even his obligation, to go back to the cave and 'enlighten' his fellow men.... once he goes back to the cave, his eyes will have trouble adjusting to total darkness again, he would have to step into the darkness again to free/enlighten his fellow prisoners.... Only to be faced by resistance from those not wanting to be freed... those who are happy with the only truth they ever knew: the shadows and the echos...

Do we choose to stay in the dark? do those who think they see the light really see it, or is it a mere representation on a huge wall??


Signing off,
N.

P.S. check wikipedia's allegory of the cave article..

The world is flat!

when i saw this book @ Diwan, i thought it was a fiction book.. sort of like the Pratchett/Gaiman things i read :D.. turns out its a collection of political essays! Anyway, this reminds me of a Suzanne Vega song called "The World before Columbus"...............

about this song, Vega said "The idea of the world before Columbus came because I have a cat at home, and this cat scratched my eye -just playing, and it became infected and I had to wear an eyepatch for about a week. The thing I noticed was that the world was really flat seeing the world that way. It struck me as funny and I was writing it down and I said the world was as flat as the world before Columbus."

Read thru... and enjoy :) (you can listen to an excerpt of the song here

If your love were taken from me
Every color would be black and white
It would be as flat as the world before Columbus
That's the day that I lose half my sight

If your life were taken from me
All the trees would freeze in this cold ground
It would be as cruel as the world before Columbus
Sail to the edge and I'd be there looking down

Those men who lust for land
And for riches strange and new
Who love those trinkets of desire
Oh they never will have you
And they'll never know the gold
Or the copper in your hair
How could they weigh
the worth of you so rare

If your love were taken from me
Every light that's bright would soon go dim
It would be as dark as the world before Columbus
Down the waterfall and I'd swim over the brim

Those men who lust for land
And for riches strange and new
Who love those trinkets of desire
Oh they will never have you
And they'll never know the gold
Or the copper in your hair
How could they weigh
the worth of you so rare

Of Lady Godiva, Cats, and Bookmarks (Addendum)

Bey2ollak eno Lady Godiva was married to a guy who enforced really harsh taxes on his people.. The lady, being of a kind heart, tried to talk her husband out of it... the people told her eno please talk to him w keda.. So her husband, a guy who obviously enjoys a good laugh, made a bet with her that if she would ride through the city totally naked except for her long hair, he would reduce/cancel the taxes...
Lady Godiva said "ok eshta cool" (she said them in that order).. and she makes a deal with the people of the city that they stay inside and close their windows while she rides through the streets.. the people say "mashi ok" (after all, she is doing *them* a favor fa 3eib ya3ni!)
They all stick to their word, except for one who makes holes in the window shutters and peeps at her.. Hence the term "Peeping Tom" :)
you can read the Wikipedia article about that....

Now this talk about Lady Godiva is because this name also refers to one of the world's best chocolate companies, Godiva.

Yesterday, i received Duke's and Duchess' bday gift.. they took me out to dinner (actually "linner", a lunch/dinner combination) at Chilis, then gave me a box of Godiva Truffles that he got from Brussels, an amazing coloful mug with two cats -their faces half-painted with golden from Frankfurt, and a painted calendar that is also twelve bookmarks (each month is taken out to make a separate bookmark) that Meyo got me from Turkey :)

So, its an international gift (or gifts) :D

Read the previous post if you didnt, i blogged twice today! :)

clumps and chunks..

* What am reading
I spent last weekend (not the one that just passed, the one before it) sick in bed.. Thursday night i was with Kareem, Meyo, and Sherif in City stars then i decided i cant stay any longer because am starting to feel dizzy and drained so i went home.. Anyway so it turned out i spent the whole weekend in bed with a bit of a fever and totally drained of energy.. during this weekend i finished two *lovely* books.. The Solitare Mystery for Jostein Gaarder (the author of Sophie's World) and "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" by Mark Haddon. Weirdly enough, both books were such a joy to read... they both belong to the Karim Sobhi's collection that i claimed as mine :D It's been such a long time since i last read something that impressed me, and both books, esp. the second, got me totally hooked!! i definitely recommend them.... the week after that i didnt read anything of value (i discovered that i started to sleep late, which makes it hard to read in bed these days).. i think i might start with "I Saw Ramallah" for Mourid Barghouti... unfortunately it is out of print, so i could only get the English translation.. I think i will try to start on it tonight...

* Bloggable thoughts
Kareem claims i always steal his thoughts when we're talking and we come up with something and i go like "This is totally a bloggable thought" :D Thr truth is, it is usually something we both come up with.... You need to learn to share the credit ;)
One of *our* latest bloggable thoughts say that since both our phone bills exploded dramatically in the past months, then Vodafone and Mobinil are probably spending each night celebrating... dancing the night away, and opening champagne bottles in the glory of another day added to our bills :D

* Birthday
Last Wednesday was my birthday... (am starting to get bored now and thinking to call this blog off, but no i will go on).... Celebrating this glorious occasion, ppl at work got me a cake and surprised (as in _really_ surprised me) at my cubicle... i knew they were going to do something for me... it gets very predictable when u find ppl who hardly know you saying Happy Birthday and all :D Then something funny happened, one of my friends was like "sorry i wont be able to make tonite to Viking" so i was like totally silent.. fa she said "uh-oh did i screw it up?" i said i think so coz i dont know what ur talking about.. so another friend says that they were planning to do something for me but when they knew that am going out with Kareem, they changed their minds and decided to make it another day so pretend u didnt hear anything blablabla.... So Kareem picks me up at 7.... i initially think we're going to dine in Zamalek (he said Zamalek somewhere in his talks).. turns out we're staying in helio... he tells me he got me gift vouchers from Diwan and Virgin so that i might get whatever i want and all... i think "Bummer! i hate to pick my own gifts" but i tell him its cool and thank you but u have to choose them with me and all.. anyway, so he says i made us a reservation at Viking since u wanna go, so i tell him the story of the ppl at work and do u still wanna go, he says yes... so i think ok i wont burst his bubble...

To cut an extremely long story short: he organized a bday for me and invited my friends and our common friends... the place wasnt as good as we thought but i sooooooooooooo wanted to try it, so i got my wish... i had an extremely nice time... _and_ he didnt get me gift vouchers after all, he got me a lovely Esprit watch :D (i've been wanting a wristwatch for so long but i didnt expect one).. Thank you everyone :)

some ppl i wanted to see but couldnt:
-Duke; he was in Brussels, couldnt call me coz my fone was dead (as da wife told me).. but Mayo Ze Lovely came and it was enough..
-Karembu & Chris; in the states, and i had to remind Karim of my bday anyway
- Nevine Fouda, Nevine Nabil (who was an essential part of the work bday along with Zeww), Emy... were in Cairo but had excuses...

* Google-able!
i discovered that blogspot is highly google-able.. hence, i decided to try and not use any words that are highly searchable... i like to believe i can somehow restrict access to my blog.. (even tho am publishing my thoughts on the World Wide Web :))

* Quotables ;)
You live and learn. At any rate, you live. ~Douglas Adams

The saddest song you ever heard - the most you said with just one word
The loneliest prayer you ever prayed - the truest vow you ever made
What makes you laugh, what makes you cry
What makes you mad, what gets you by
You highest high, your lowest low - these things I want to know

I wanna know you - like I know myself
I’m waitin’ for you - there ain’t no one else
Talk to me baby - scream and shout
I wanna know you - inside out

~ Bryan Adams, Inside Out


Cheers,
N.


p.s. Another addendum to this post will come later today :)

Don't think twice...

(I knew that song a long time ago.. and for some reason it reminds me of Mai -Duchess-, we sang it together the "dont think twice its alright" line only :) I luv its lyrics and its melody.. Enjoy)

It ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
It don't matter, anyhow
An' it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
If you don't know by now
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Look out your window and I'll be gone
You're the reason I'm trav'lin' on
Don't think twice, it's all right

It ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
That light I never knowed
An' it ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
I'm on the dark side of the road
Still I wish there was somethin' you would do or say
To try and make me change my mind and stay
We never did too much talkin' anyway
So don't think twice, it's all right

It ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
Like you never did before
It ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
I can't hear you any more
I'm a-thinkin' and a-wond'rin' all the way down the road
I once loved a woman, a child I'm told
I give her my heart but she wanted my soul
But don't think twice, it's all right

I'm walkin' down that long, lonesome road, babe
Where I'm bound, I can't tell
But goodbye's too good a word, gal
So I'll just say fare thee well
I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don't mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don't think twice, it's all right