Monday, October 22, 2007

"Hypocritical" Oath!

I hate how you are.. so pretentious and fake with this ghost halo of selflessness and this false ego (note to "her": dont you see how often we use this false ego thing lately?)

I hate how you pretend to care, when you're really thinking about yourself, and there is nothing wrong with that really.. we ALL put ourselves first, so you dont have to pretend otherwise really! I mean really.. who will judge you ya3ni? you're the only one who is laying judgements around, so unless you judge you, i wont :)

I hate how you love to break news and watch the expressions on people's faces, how you love to gloat, how you love to go like "I dont mean to say I told you so, but I did tell you so!", how you pretend to care, infront of me and infront of yourself.. how you fool yourself before fooling others, and you never come clean with your real intentions, and you never challenge your own beliefs..

You pretend to be a "Fakir", but you're just a "faker"..

You disgust me! and you know what? You deserve to be stuck in the cave forever, your likes who managed to get out did nothing but pollute the beautiful clean place that this used to be..



p.s. this post is to no one in particular.. it is to a "prototype" of a person, who by the way wouldnt be reading this, because to him/her/it, this is more than what they can comprehend!

p.p.s. Yes I am very condescending, and it is about time kaman!

Sunday, October 14, 2007

The Truth about Cats and Dogs and other Fairytales..

Cats
I've had a lot of cat metaphors recently related to me:
* the movie, Truth about Cats & Dogs, keeps coming up.. the same argument over and over again.. would you choose comfort or thrill? someone cheering for your league or way out of your league? They cant always seem to link how comfort sometimes IS a hidden thrill.. judging and labeling.. fa eih ya3ni? (my famous phrase!) why do you care about the label when its the feeling that counts?? just get along!

* "el 2ott ye7eb khana2o" this phrase has been used in conjuction with me unlimitied number of times in a million contexts and no matter how i try to explain, i cant get them to understand that el 2ott doesnt like khana2o.. el 2ott likes someone, and this someone happens to yekhno2o.. i dont like you BECAUSE you abuse me, i like you IN SPITE of the abuse!

* the same old sneaking (or is it gracefully walking?) like a cat and just giving people this "cat look".. Heba and I used to call it "cat out alone in the rain" look..


Of becoming a Pastafarian
I came across this wiki page a while ago http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster and altho it might -strongly- offend what i believe in.. yet i found the idea hilarious and the way he challenged their ideas quite entertaining.. So the other day am @ Diwan (the day i got that blue notebook) and i saw "The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster" containing the Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts".. anyway i got it a coupla days ago, and started reading it right away.. So far it is really interesting.. the thing about it, is that it makes you requestion your faith in stuff.. which -to me- can actually be a way to regain, revive, or reinforce faith.. It makes you wonder why you believe in what you believe, and dig deeper in this paradigm.. Bobby Henderson (the originator and author) does that in a cool way by illustrating how correlation doesnt equal causation (a favorite topic of mine!) through establishing that "global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of pirates since the 1800s" (where pirates are FSM "chosen people"!)

ah yes, hear this, followers of FSM are called Pastafarians..

I particularly liked this one from the Eight
I'd really rather you didn't build multi million-dollar churches/temples/mosques/shrines to my noodly goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick):
* Ending poverty
* Curing diseases
* Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable



Predispositions, Assumptions, and Preconceived Notions
Hate them.. try to prove it wrong in every possible way.. but what i hate most is that i sometimes end up using them myself!


Total Perspective Vortex
The Total Perspective Vortex, in the fictional world of Douglas Adams's The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, is the most horrible torture device to which a sentient being can be subjected. Located on Frogstar World B, it shows its victim the entire unimaginable infinity of the universe with a very tiny marker that says "You Are Here" which points to a microscopic dot on a microscopic dot.

Instead of thinking how significant we are -to the universe, to those around us, and to our closest people- how about for a change we consider how INsignificant we are to the world? Makes all the difference!

Delirium Quote(s)
I just came into the book of quotable Sandman's that Karim got me a while ago men amrika, and i really liked these..

* "I like airplanes. I like anywhere that isn't a proper place. I like in-betweens." (Someone just said sthg similar about me 2 days ago!)

* "I am following my fish."

Monday, October 08, 2007

Comfort Zone

my "lather, rinse, repeat" routine is changing! I finally decided to come out of my comfort zone.. was it a comfort zone really? Not really but I was haunted with a fear of it becoming one! change for the sake of change is bad, but this is change for the sake of.... hmmm... growing? yes, growing, maturing, and moving out.. (i hope!) getting emotional and "this is the best place ever" wont do.. if it IS the best place ever, why are you leaving? :D i hate this tamseel..

Those who want me to stay are too scared of leaving themselves.. and who want me to leave dont know what i learned by staying.. so this was/is/will be my call alone...

my friend told me "w 7atseebi el balaleen wel le3ab?" and i told him "yes imagine!" He knows how I liked it at first, and how it suffocated me later, and he knows the in betweens..

that other "person" told me am not loyal.. then said i shouldve negotiated.. i want you to settle on ur choice! do you think i should be a loyal patriot AND a negotiator? dont they contradict a little?

What else.. Zamalek isnt the same except in winter.. maybe i should wait till winter to judge..

Random facts (or what my friend calls "leakage from a water cooler")
* I luv the taste of lemon..
* I got a really really cute blue notebook from Diwan.. eccentric and somehow very "me".. has the drawings of a Tibetan Lamayuru monastry.. (this is the link to it.. i got the Clouds one)
* Recently I feel guilty for sleeping more than 4 hrs a day!!
* I have a terrible headache
* In spite of being an unemotional, antisocial, autistic person, i will miss them.. some more than others, but i will miss them..
* I am very nostalgic!

The summer days are gone too soon
You shoot the moon
And miss completely
And now you're left to face the gloom
The empty room that once smelled sweetly
Of all the flowers you plucked if only
You knew the reason
Why you had to each be lonely
Was it just the season?


i had more thoughts to write, bass khalass thats about it for now..


Bisous,
N.


p.s. If "you" are reading this, you were right, my life is for rent, and I dont learn to buy.. But i _am_ examining the options right now.. and by the way, thank you.