Of Someones and Other Tidbits

had so much in my head to blog, but kind of ran out of words now.. Ideas i have, words i do not..

hmmm.. in the last week:

• Someone told me i should read a little about Extreme Programming (XP) (which i insist on calling Experienced Professional or something :D) and lent me a little o'reilly pocket book to brush up my knowledge
• Someone(s) i work with told me I dont complain enough! -lol- their point was that I take it as long as am able to handle (which is partially true).. the way i see it is that when i need to complain, i will have grounds eno "its very rare when i do, so i must be credible".. i dont think they take it this way
• Someone told me i am a workoholic -if only she could see me at uni- but then again, at uni i had this image of an "academian" as Hussam once referred to it.. always carrying many books, none of them is about any of my courses :)

I hate people who slack keda.. I discovered i really have a short temper for passive people, it makes me sick to my stomach.. and i've been having this lately a lot.. and then someone tells you "but he is kind ya haram!" and am like fa eih? Kind and so he unloads his load of problems on me and expect me to react? Even in problems that dont concern me at all, if i dont feel people are not trying hard enough, i am starting to find it very difficult to sympathize..

Possibilities scare me.. And the fact that possibilities scare me is scaring me more.. ok lets take this one at a time, possibilities scare me because they let me know what is attainable, they make me aspire, they open new doors.. they bring into existence a wealth of unguarded dreams/hopes, and this is scary.. It's like i told karembu i want "contentment", but then i find i can get "ecstasy" so what was acceptable is now not matching the criteria, and i "raise the bar"! :) As for the second scary fact, I always prided myself on being someone who welcomes change and is open to options, blabla, so the fact that i am scared makes me feel that i am so limited.. I feel that "ah so i want to be a happy settled person and thats it? Seriously N, I thought there was more to you than mere contentment".. So its an inner conflict, is it that i have no ambition? no horizon? or is it that i am sooooooo open to possibilities that i just accept them but am not willing to change them?

I seriously dont know.. this has to do with everything.. life, work, relations, all..

Yesterday was our annual corporate dinner... thats a story for another post..