47 - II

Screaming at the top of my lungs, but no sound coming out.. in a soundproof invisible bubble..

All apologies

What else should I be
All apologies

What else could I write
I don't have the right

What else should I be
All Apologies

I wish I was like you
Easily amused

Find my nest of salt
Everything is my fault

I'll take all the blame
Aqua seafoam shame
Sunburn with freezer burn
Choking on the ashes of her enemy

All in all is all we are


note to Duke and Mayo: and then he goes "maaaaaary, maaaaaaary" ;)

Fragile -- Handle with Care

So, you probably noticed i havent been myself lately. Or maybe you didnt. Maybe you thought this is who i've always been and you just didnt know me well enough. Well, you're wrong. This has never been me. The reason? Well, they are many. You might know some because i told you or because you guessed them or because you're part of them. No one has the big picture but me, but some have a bigger picture than others. And no i am not willing to share. I already feel i've turned into a whining female and its really really bugging me. So what now? Where do i go from here? Well, i dont know. I am still figuring that out. Meanwhile, i really appreciate my space, your understanding, and whatever quality time we have. Hmmm i keep dismissing every other thought i want to say because its either too personal, too direct, or wrongly timed. Why on earth am i sharing this aslan? The whole point behind blogging still confuses me.

Right now, i want a toffee apple with caramel and pecan nuts :) and cold weather and a little rain drizzle. Hmmm i talk like Delirium. Good night.

Darkness wanna-be..

You must have been wondering when were these lyrics coming.. i tried to resist it for some time, but it's sooooo well-suited with the mood, no? and it's the first recommended lesson in Darkness for Dummies ;) If you have any suggestions for a darkness beginner, drop them in :)


I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes
I see a line of cars and theyre all painted black
With flowers and my love both never to come back
I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
Like a new born baby it just happens evry day
I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door and it has been painted black
Maybe then Ill fade away and not have to face the facts
Its not easy facin up when your whole world is black

No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue
I could not foresee this thing happening to you
If I look hard enough into the settin sun
My love will laugh with me before the mornin comes

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes
Hmm, hmm, hmm,...
I wanna see it painted, painted black
Black as night, black as coal
I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky
I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted black