Monday, June 20, 2011

Little Deaths

وكثيرا ما كنت أسأل نفسي حين اسمعهن يروين مناماتهن: لماذا نقتل من نحب في مناماتنا؟ هل هو الخوف من الموت الذي وحده يفقدنا من نحب، أو أننا نقتله في المنام كي لا يتركنا في الحياة، يفلت منا ويغادرنا، وتصير حياتنا خاوية وميتة بدونه؟ وهل بالحب وحده نكتشف الموت، أم نذهب إليه لنعيد إكتشاف ذلك الحب في ذروة خسارته وفقدانه؟ هل هو عبء الحب يا ترى، أم عبء الموت الذي نكتشف أننا ممتلئون به في جسدنا وحياتنا إذا ما انزاح عنا ذلك الحب؟

علوية صبح - دنيا


I wondered the same, when I kill people in my dreams (not kill, but have them die).. I have learned from Mama to say "enkatablo 3omr jdeed" when someone alive dies in a dream. But sometimes we are just training ourselves for the loss, and yet when it comes, we are never prepared. In my most recent and most vivid "dream death", I woke up to think "enkatablo 3omr jdeed, I'd rather lose people in life than experience their deaths" but I also felt all the pain, the dream pain was real, like I recalled the feeling and relived it all over. And I insisted on recounting my dream, ending it with letting go (just don't die in my dreams!), and then trying to analyze ("this dream is really about someone else").

It doesn't matter. Maybe you died in my dream because it is the easy way out.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Exactly how often do you have people lynched in your dreams??

Nag said...

hahahahah, I don't have them lynched.. they die of natural causes.. the last one (the one I most remember because of its details), the subject had a heart attack in my dream while we were sitting.. it was very clear, I really felt all the tension and fear involved.. it is not often but these dreams affect me the most..