When we met light was shed
Thoughts free flow
You said you've got something
Deep inside of you
I am under the effects of a high fever and 3 months of pent up stress.. i havent had a decent cry out in so long.. almost 3 months or so, weird huh? instead i keep all these toxins deep inside of me, or i try to get it out thru some healthy outlet.. now that am under the mental state am in, my head is boiling from the heat, the taste of pure water makes me sick, and my "skin" hurts.. really this is beyond the "eveyryone in my body feels broken" feeling.. my SKIN is really hurting to the touch, and i feel a numbness all over.. was coming home with A when i started shivering uncontrollably all over... and the funny thing is, i know that chances are, i will almost back to normal tomorrow.. thats why i dont have credibility when am sick, sickness doesnt "stick" to me somehow.. or i dont let it. to which am grateful.. but now since my skin hurts, my head hurts, my BRAIN hurts, and my heart, insides all hurt hurt.. After i started talking out loud to imaginary ppl in the room (in full awareness that am doing in but cant stop it!), then i started calling up ppl who would talk me to sleep, another failure so i decide to get the toxins out on paper, now that am that far, i dont feel like going on.. am listening to the song am using throughout the post over and over and over again...
disclaimer: i dont commit to making sense..
Friends say I've changed
I don't listen 'cuz I live to be
Deep inside of you
Today i cried, not for long tho.. for just an eeny little while, a couple of minutes.. probably thought i was taking down my fever by getting it out of my tear ducts.. anyway, i thought, i decided, and i cried.. hoping i would cry myself to sleep.. didnt work.. i turned off the fone, sthg i rarely do and i put it away, because i didnt wanto call.. somehow it feels "wrong" now, before it seemed foolish, now it feels wrong.. funny, given the circumstances :) i "shouldnt" feel guilty for wanting to call, but again what should and what is are rarely related with me!
You said, "boy make girl feel good"
But still, deep inside
Still
I've never felt alone
Till I met you
I'm alright on my own
And then I met you
And I'd know what to do
If I just knew what's coming
I would change myself if I could
I'd walk with my people if I could find them
i made a curse.. really.. i made a crazy voodoo curse, i drew it on a napkin and hoped it would take it all away, but i think i reversed the curse or something..
And I don't want to call you
But then I want to call you
'Cuz I don't want to crush you
But I feel like crushing you, and it's true
I took for granted you were with me
I breathe by your looks and you look right through me
But we were broke and didn't know
We were broke and didn't know
We were broke and didn't know
We were broke and didn't know
Something's gone, you withdraw
And I'm not strong like before
I was deep inside of you
I can go nowhere
I burn candles and stare
At a ghost deep inside of you
And some great need in me
Starts to bleed
I've lost myself, there's nothing left
It's all gone
Deep inside of you
i need to go back now to my happy place inside my head..
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