whatever!

I decided to share a meaningless Sunday secret of mine each week.. it's a Tuesday but who cares..

anyway, I am annoyed.. i am not sad, nor upset, nor angry, nor resentful.. i am good and relaxed and happy.. begad!

but still.. it bugs me and nags me at the back of my head.. like a throbbing headache..

it annoys me that you dont know and dont understand and dont try to.. and it annoys me more that i might have gotten you wrong and you know and understand and everything..

My secret on a postcard: "I dont know the real reason behind this"

Should I?

"I wouldnt do it if I were you".. but you're not me.. and I am not you.. never will be, and not sure I want to be.. not in this aspect at least.. So, the solution? doing my stupid mistakes is better than faking someone else's smart actions..

"till it stops being painful".. it wont.


I will call..

Sunday Secrets..

"El chai tamam ya fandem?" He asks.. yes wallahi el chai tamam.. you managed to put a tea bag and pour hot water on it very very professionally! bravo! how can el chai not be tamam?? why do we hang on to such empty talk.. why cant people learn the rule of adapting their reactions.. "one rule for all".. ask them if they're order is up to the standard.. a guy once was about to ask me whether I liked the bottled water i ordered!

Am working "from home" today, where home is a Zamalek Cilantro..

I am getting addicted to PostSecret and i hate that its only updated once weekly.. there is a certain rush about reading other ppl's secrets.. secrets they've probably never confessed before, secrets that i sometimes relate to.. it also lets me think about my own secrets if i were to share them.. some are stupid and not so serious, the rest.. well, mostly they are about feelings not actions.. which is ok.. walla eih?

recently.. when i run into ppl outside my circle of work, many comment on my lack of reaction/interaction.. apparently i spend too much energy at work and with my own self, that i have very little left for others.. which is cool actually... as long as am not too drained to have a good time, which i am not -so far-..


You probably wont be reading but...
I heard you lying openly to me.. well, it was something small, really small, and you werent like looking me in the eye or anything because we were on the phone.. but still.. it felt weirdly uncomfortable.. and knowing me, I wouldve blurted out that I knew what you said to the other.. annoying.. coming from you it was even more so! but I've done worse.. and if I were to be forgiven, I need to learn to forgive.. which -knowing me- is actually very easy! I've grown out of the emotional blackmail blabla..


khalass thats it.. more later, bye.