If I were..

if I were a weapon
you said I'd be a gun
lethal at close range i guess
with silencer and stun

but I feel more like a needle
always pulling on the thread
always making the same point again
and wondering if you heard what I just said

if you were a weapon
a hammer's what you'd be
blunt and heavy at the end
and coming down on me

but i've concealed a weapon
in a pocket knife attack
all folded up inside until you see the shine
and then you'll want it back

if I were a weapon
you said i'd be a gun
lethal at close range I guess
with silencer and stun

well, if I am that weapon
I am pointing now at you
so just put down the hostage and we'll
talk it down until we see this through

~Suzanne Vega

I am tired

The Letter

LITTLE cramped words scrawling all over the paper
Like draggled fly's legs,
What can you tell of the flaring moon
Through the oak leaves?
Or of my uncurtained window and the bare floor
Spattered with moonlight?
Your silly quirks and twists have nothing in them
Of blossoming hawthorns,
And this paper is dull, crisp, smooth, virgin of loveliness
Beneath my hand.
I am tired, Beloved, of chafing my heart against
The want of you;
Of squeezing it into little inkdrops,
And posting it.
And I scald alone, here, under the fire
Of the greater moon.



Aftermath

I learnt to write to you in happier days,
And every letter was a piece I chipped
From off my heart, a fragment newly clipped
From the mosaic of life; its blues and grays,
Its throbbing reds, I gave to earn your praise.
To make a pavement for your feet I stripped
My soul for you to walk upon, and slipped
Beneath your steps to soften all your ways.
But now my letters are like blossoms pale
We strew upon a grave with hopeless tears.
I ask no recompense, I shall not fail
Although you do not heed; the long, sad years
Still pass, and still I scatter flowers frail,
And whisper words of love which no one hears.



Mirage

How is it that, being gone, you fill my days,
And all the long nights are made glad by thee?
No loneliness is this, nor misery,
But great content that these should be the ways
Whereby the Fancy, dreaming as she strays,
Makes bright and present what she would would be.
And who shall say if the reality
Is not with dreams so pregnant. For delays
And hindrances may bar the wished-for end;
A thousand misconceptions may prevent
Our souls from coming near enough to blend;
Let me but think we have the same intent,
That each one needs to call the other, "friend!"
It may be vain illusion. I'm content.


~ Amy Lowell

It ain't me babe..

I can't stop listening to this Dylan song.. I luv it... melody is amazing.. its all about expectations and frustrations keda.. hmmm.. i think i relate to his "babe" a lot..

Go 'way from my window,
Leave at your own chosen speed.
I'm not the one you want, babe,
I'm not the one you need.
You say you're lookin' for someone
Never weak but always strong,
To protect you an' defend you
Whether you are right or wrong,
Someone to open each and every door,
But it ain't me, babe,
No, no, no, it ain't me, babe,
It ain't me you're lookin' for, babe.

Go lightly from the ledge, babe,
Go lightly on the ground.
I'm not the one you want, babe,
I will only let you down.
You say you're lookin' for someone
Who will promise never to part,
Someone to close his eyes for you,
Someone to close his heart,
Someone who will die for you an' more,
But it ain't me, babe,
No, no, no, it ain't me, babe,
It ain't me you're lookin' for, babe.

Go melt back into the night, babe,
Everything inside is made of stone.
There's nothing in here moving
An' anyway I'm not alone.
You say you're looking for someone
Who'll pick you up each time you fall,
To gather flowers constantly
An' to come each time you call,
A lover for your life an' nothing more,
But it ain't me, babe,
No, no, no, it ain't me, babe,
It ain't me you're lookin' for, babe.

Dilbertism..

So-Called Chaos

Deadlines, meetings and contracts all breached
D-days and structure responsibility

Have-to's and need-to's and get-to's by three
Eleventh hours and upset employees

I want to be naked, running through the streets
I want to invite this so called chaos, that you'd think I dare not be
I want to be weightless, flying through the air
I want to drop all these limitations and return to what I was born to be

Heartburn and headaches and soon-to-be ulcers
Compulsive yearnings non-stop to please others

I want to be naked, running through the streets
I want to invite this so called chaos, that you'd think I dare not be
I want to be weightless, flying through the air
I want to drop all these limitations at the shoes upon my feet

All won't be lost if I'm governed by my own innate-ness
Stop lights won't work I'll get home sound and safe regardless
Won't be mayhem if I'm ruled by my own rule-lessness
My fire won't quell and I'll be harm-free and distress-less (trust me)

Line towing, and helping, expectations up to living
Inside box obeying, inside line coloring

I want to be naked, running through the streets
I want to invite this so called chaos, that you'd think I dare not be
I want to be weightless, flying through the air
I want to drop all these limitations at the shoes upon my feet
I want to be naked, running through the streets
I want to invite this so called chaos, that you'd think I dare not be
I want to be weightless, flying through the air
I want to drop all these limitations and return to what I was born to be

Inherent Happiness

---
The Shaltanacs are a race from the planet Broop Kidron Thirteen, who had their own version of the Earth phrase, "The other man's grass is always greener." Although, given their planet's horticultural peculiarities, theirs was, "The other Shaltanac's joopleberry shrub is always a more mauve-y shade of pinky russet," and so, the expression fell into disuse, and the Shaltanacs found they had little choice but to become exceptionally happy and content, which surprised everyone else in the galaxy, who had never realised that the best way not to be unhappy is not to have a word for it.
---

~ The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Life or something like it..

hmmmm... Another picture of Lilia (noticed how her hair is parted lol).. it is an inexplicable comfort i feel when i look at her :) amazing feeling... like when is she going to speak ba'a! it's funny because its not like the first baby i come in contact with, yet it just feels weird keda with her being Oz's daughter and all.. Anyway, so i've been meaning to blog for so so long, I even had this Word document with a draft of my post to be.. the file name is "futile", any hints?

Anyway, one reason i havent really been keen on blogging no more is that primarily i used to blog to update Karembu, M & S, et al. on my daily/weekly/whatever life.. and then recently i decided it is futile since we meet and talk and all.. and i went thru a "why am i blogging" phase.. and then i realized i am really doing it for me.. I want to document certain stuff of my life and thoughts, no matter how trivial.. fa eih ba2a.... on my mind right now, here goes....

Karim is here! after 3 yrs of seeing him once a year, he is here to stay.. this -coupled with the fact that Cilantro finally opened on worx' roof- has made my work days a LOT better.. It has become sort of a ritual to take a daily 10-15 minute coffee break with him to talk about life and stuff.. it feels sooooo good.. really! the guys at cilantro now know us so they go like "the usual?" when they see us :) :) Where the usual is a caramel latte' for me, a hazelnut latte' for karim.. we both dont use sugar but i sprinkle a little cinnamon on mine (and have to be careful because i always get a bit on my clothes!).. Having cilantro made me realize how starbucks suuuuuuucked! At least cilantro tastes more or less the same everyday! SB ba'a was one day too much milk, one day too bitter coffee... ugh.. anyway, its cool to have this coffee ritual.. puts everything into place keda.. puts me in touch with the (really) good old days..

Speaking of good old days, we planned a get-together over breakfast @ lucille's today.. (the laptop am working on has the " and the @ switched together.. VERY annoying) back to story... so kailash was @ worx the other day for some meeting with e-gov ppl or whatever and after that we talked a little and he decided we should get together for breakfast blablabla.. so he goes up to Karim and arranges this thing.. M&S cant make it because they both had work.. so today it was karim, me, kash, michael "protos" and jessica (who are getting married real soon), beco, and gawly -altho we thought they're out-... was very entertaining to sit and talk with these people again.. on the way back, Kash, Karembu, and i had quite an interesting talk about Microsoft in Egypt and all that work with their partners, customers, and all that... again, the issue of stupid sloppiness came up (it comes up in almost any work-related talk i have with anyone).. the "i sent email and they didnt reply so i assumed they will reply"-did you call them-"no" syndrome.. the partner is waiting for the customer to reply and the customer waiting for the partner to get back to them, and everyone is waiting for someone else to act.... grrrr...

What else.... hmmm i feel i have word vomit lol.. i am on a talking spree.. anyway.. ah also recently on my mind.. the issue of correlation and causation... i suffer from that a lot.. well not "suffer", but it pisses me off... initially i hate assumptions... i hate them more when they are based on wrong evidence... let me tell you how... N talks to X a lot in the past 3 months, N has become very aggressive in the past 3 months, therefore X caused N to become aggressive... I feel pure ignorance when faced with such meaningless correlations.. uninformed guesses and haphazard assumptions... seebak!

i hate ppl invading my personal space awiiiiiiii... people who are loud in everything, their voice, makeup, perfume, attitude, opinions, it just bugs me to no end. And i feel trapped in a corner and i feel invisible... (message to the annoying ppl sitting next to me on the cilantro couch right now: please take your laptops, your coffees, and sadwiches and go watch your weird movies somewhere else you're bugging meeeeeeeee! and whoever on earth wears a semi-backless blouse to cilantro???)

Karim has a number of audio books and recorded radio shows on his iPod.. so recently when we're together in his car, we've been listening to H2G2 (if u dont know what that is, wikipedia it!) very funny.. luv british humor....

Ah, what am i reading these days.. well, to your (and my) astonishment, i am currently reading 2 non-fiction books!! non-fiction.. ME! :) however i dont read as frequently as before tho.. for some reason i go home totally busted and just watch a little TV until i sleep.. my reading venues are quite weird: gym and hairdresser! apparently someone forgot a copy of The Tipping Point @ hairdresser so i read a little bit everytime i go there (and it gives me an incentive to go there in the first place :)) and i read Wisdom of the Crowds at gym... both are interesting and are somehow related... the TP tho is very interesting that it had me remembering parts of it without really meaning to... Tipping Point main argument is the point at which an incident or an action becomes an "epidemic" as Gladwell calls it.. maybe one day i'd tell you about it in person..

Enough of that.. phew... i feel much better now thank you for listening..



"Life, don't talk to *me* about life!" ~ Marvin the Paranoid Android

Up so close...

I love this song.. It's by Cake... Dont try to think too much about what it means.. Just enjoy :) sweet melody too.. will blog something real soon..


Up so close, I never get to see your face.
Microscope, I might as well be out in space.
Up so close, I never get to see the view.
Down your throat, I'm never sure if it's still you.
Up your nose, down to your toes.
In your mouth, way down south.
Up so close, it seems I only think of you.
Up so close, I never see the sky so blue.

I only wanted to be sure
That what it was was really pure.
I put my face down in the cake.
My feet were flailing in a lake.

Up so close, I never get to see your face.
Microscope, I might as well be out in space.

Up so close, I never get to see you.
Microscope, I'm never sure if it's still you.

Lilia

I am not very fond of newborns.. They look all wrinkled, red, and feature-less to me.. But this one, Lilia, is the most beautiful newborn I've ever seen.. Ozzi gave birth late Friday to this beauty..

This is Lilia less than one day old.. Being her self-proclaimed godmother, I cant wait till she's old enough to take her to Diwan ;)

Sidney Sheldon

Sidney Sheldon (a fellow aquarian) passed away, just 11 days from turning 90..

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070131/ap_en_ot/obit_sheldon


This guy is one of my all-time favorite writers... I've read all his books.. he just knows a lot keda.. he writes about lawyers, doctors, assassins, ambassadors and he spans tens of countries in his novels.. I was always impressed by his storylines and his knowledgebase... "Un-put-down-able" is how they described his books, and they really were..

His novels were:

• The Naked Face (1970)
• The Other Side of Midnight (1973)
• A Stranger in the Mirror (1976)
• Bloodline (1977)
• Rage of Angels (1980)
• Master of the Game (1982)
• If Tomorrow Comes (1985)
• Windmills of the Gods (1987)
• The Sands of Time (1988)
• Memories of Midnight (1990)
• The Doomsday Conspiracy (1991)
• The Stars Shine Down (1992)
• Nothing Lasts Forever (1994)
• Morning, Noon and Night (1995)
• The Best Laid Plans (1997)
• Tell Me Your Dreams (1998)
• The Sky is Falling (2001)
• Are You Afraid of the Dark? (2004)

And his autobiography, "The Other Side of Me", published last year..

Too bad this man wont be writing no more..

It was a pretty good year...

I liked this TIME cover.. Very cute i think.. It was an ok year i think.. very "intense" I must say.. Too intense actually.. Fights, arguments, happiness, misery, hopes, dreams.. and it all seems sooo long ago.. memories from another lifetime perhaps... or maybe fictional memories..

A year of holding on and letting go, believing and losing faith and not necessarily in this order.. recurring fears and reassurances.. interesting, eh? Eno it was controversial and contradictory..

Resolutions? Working on them.. I need a paradigm shift...

Little Miss Sunshine

Duke wrote this and sent it to me.. According to him, he started it while he was at Algiers, but got to the brownie part and stopped.. He finished it when he came back..

I simply love it.. Touching on so many levels.. It's like "Ouch!" and "Wow!" and "how on earth..." all rolled into one :)

He called it "Between Darkness and Light"... Enjoy..


He calls her Sunshine
But she likes the rain
A walk in the clouds
To take away the pain

They meet at the crossroad
Of darkness and light
He stares in bewilderment
As she stares in fright

She’s blinded by the darkness
He’s blinded by the light
In opposite directions
They fade out of site

A million miles away
He’s staring at the sea
Dreaming of tomorrow
Things he wants to be

A million miles away
She’s dreaming of the sea
As she slowly eats her brownie
And drinks her cup of tea

She looks across the table
To the place where they used to sit
Two lovers making promises, two lovers breaking up
She smiles and flips the page, as she takes another sip

The sea is quiet in awe
The moon is falling off
The sun is rising high, the light is creeping in
He’s thinking of the sunshine that he’s slowly writing off

Alone at bed at night
She dreams of a different world
Where nothing ever dies
Where no one ever leaves
She dreams of a different world
Where no one really cries
Where their paths again meet

At the crossroad of darkness and light

All faces of Eve..

Yesterday we went out, Duke & Meyo, Karembu, Du, and me for a very nice dinner at a new place in Mohand. (Massimo not Massimo's ya mayo :P)

Anyway so on the way back home, i had quite an interesting talk with Karembu about relationships and their relation with your phase of life.. My argument was eno based on your "age group" and other factors, people of the opposite sex start assessing your "potentiality" to make a good partner.. Of course i am talking here about single people..

Mainly it went like this: when i graduated 4-5 years ago, I was in the "she's nice.. a couple of years ahead she'll make a good candidate" phase.. it was cool back then, a guy can be nice to you within the boundaries of normal decency and you wouldnt go wondering what he's after.. similarly, I felt (more) free to express myself without being misunderstood (most of the time at least)..

Right now, its my prime :D People (guys) would go like "is she available? she seems interesting.. hmmm.. what if?" And then people (girls and guys alike) would go tell a guy "how about N? Isnt she nice? Why dont you check it out with her?" Don't get me wrong, I am not flattering myself or anything.. It's not specific to me this attitude, it hits almost every girl.. When i say this phase is my prime, i dont necessarily mean i like.. Quite the contrary, I dont welcome the fact that everything i say/do is analyzed and assessed to determine my "potentiality".. Anyway, so 5 years from now -if i am single- I will be in the "She seems too nice to have stayed single" phase.. and people would go like "What has this world come to if people like her are still not taken?" :D I am serious i know people in this phase... 5 more years ba'a and i will be in the "hmmmm.. i wonder why she's still single.. there must be some mystery" phase..

I am not going to express how i feel about these classifications.. I realize that marriage, couple-dom, and companionship/relationship is an integral part of our lives.. But i dont like being classified according to my work, education, OR "potentiality" :D

Anyway, so Karim's reply was "ah.. so you're looking for a 3arees?" :P

Hmmm... MEN!

Thoughtlings (smaller than thoughts)

In the corporate dinner thingie, i rediscovered my competitiveness :) I am one of these people who take games _very_ seriously, esp mental ones.. Dinner itself was not bad, seated not buffet.. good potato gratin, but was a little on the heavy side..

I had a totally work-free weekend.. next week i need to concentrate a little to get things done.. (cross my fingers)

I need to blog about blogging, its been 2 years now, which is funny because at first it started out as me wanting to share thoughts with my close friends only.. but now i discovered my blog has a base of unknown readers :D Its not my news hub anymore, but simply an outlet..

I love winter, i particularly love winter mornings.. December is also Christmas mood, so throughout all December, whenever I ride with Fancy in the mornings, its Christmas carols and songs time :D She has this weird addiction that throughout all December she has to listen to it.. tens of songs, some so cool, some not, but the cool ones definitely put me in a nice sweet mood.. So this song is one of my very favorites.. It has a tint of sadness in it, but what i like is the hopefulness.. the girl's sound is lovely.. perfect for a winter morning

Hey, maybe I'll dye my hair
Maybe I'll move somewhere
Maybe I'll get a car
Maybe I'll drive so far
They'll all lose track
Me, I'll bounce right back
Maybe I'll sleep real late
Maybe I'll lose some weight
Maybe I'll clear my junk
Maybe I'll just get drunk on apple wine
Me, I'll be just

Fine and Dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I won't let
Sorrow bring me way down

I'll be fine and dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I won't let
Sorrow get me way down

Hey, maybe I'll learn to sew
Maybe I'll just lie low
Maybe I'll hit the bars
Maybe I'll count the stars until dawn
Me, I will go on

Maybe I'll settle down
Maybe I'll just leave town
Maybe I'll have some fun
Maybe I'll meet someone
And make him mine
Me, I'll be just

Fine and dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I won't let
Sorrow bring me way down

I'll be fine and dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I won't let
Sorrow bring me way down

I'll be fine and dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I won't let
Sorrow bring me way down

'Cause I'll be fine
Oh, I'll be fine

Of Someones and Other Tidbits

had so much in my head to blog, but kind of ran out of words now.. Ideas i have, words i do not..

hmmm.. in the last week:

• Someone told me i should read a little about Extreme Programming (XP) (which i insist on calling Experienced Professional or something :D) and lent me a little o'reilly pocket book to brush up my knowledge
• Someone(s) i work with told me I dont complain enough! -lol- their point was that I take it as long as am able to handle (which is partially true).. the way i see it is that when i need to complain, i will have grounds eno "its very rare when i do, so i must be credible".. i dont think they take it this way
• Someone told me i am a workoholic -if only she could see me at uni- but then again, at uni i had this image of an "academian" as Hussam once referred to it.. always carrying many books, none of them is about any of my courses :)

I hate people who slack keda.. I discovered i really have a short temper for passive people, it makes me sick to my stomach.. and i've been having this lately a lot.. and then someone tells you "but he is kind ya haram!" and am like fa eih? Kind and so he unloads his load of problems on me and expect me to react? Even in problems that dont concern me at all, if i dont feel people are not trying hard enough, i am starting to find it very difficult to sympathize..

Possibilities scare me.. And the fact that possibilities scare me is scaring me more.. ok lets take this one at a time, possibilities scare me because they let me know what is attainable, they make me aspire, they open new doors.. they bring into existence a wealth of unguarded dreams/hopes, and this is scary.. It's like i told karembu i want "contentment", but then i find i can get "ecstasy" so what was acceptable is now not matching the criteria, and i "raise the bar"! :) As for the second scary fact, I always prided myself on being someone who welcomes change and is open to options, blabla, so the fact that i am scared makes me feel that i am so limited.. I feel that "ah so i want to be a happy settled person and thats it? Seriously N, I thought there was more to you than mere contentment".. So its an inner conflict, is it that i have no ambition? no horizon? or is it that i am sooooooo open to possibilities that i just accept them but am not willing to change them?

I seriously dont know.. this has to do with everything.. life, work, relations, all..

Yesterday was our annual corporate dinner... thats a story for another post..

Facts

* I walk too fast (at least for a girl)

* I have a dreamy/hazy look.. like am Delirium all the time.. Can give away the (false) impression that am slow or not concentrating

* I like it when I am a bit cold. When the chill reaches to my bones

* I dont like the color orange

* I dont like tangerines.. hate their smell..

* I drift a lot when talking or listening, which sometimes offends people and makes them think am not interested or am not listening, but I _do_ listen very well.. Seriously!

* I dont like watermelons, never did.. only eat them at my uncle because they insist I take fruits and it's these or mangoes :D

* I seriously believe in signs, and I interpret them any way I please

* I dont like assumptions

* I dont like recounting my dreams (good ones or nightmares)

* By the time I was 7, I had more books than toys :D

* I am proud of not belonging to one place, altho as a kid I was embarrassed of it and kept telling people I am only Egyptian

* I like to watch people and imagine what their lives are like

* I have the (unintentional) ability to listen to more than one conversation at a time -- barmi wedn.. I dont do it on purpose.. we call it a "H" thing (where "H" is my family name).. But its funny (for me at least) and the cool thing is that i admit it, I dont go pretending I didnt hear and stuff :D


The Anti-Whining Policy

Based on a new rule from a "senior authority", my team now has an anti-whining policy.. Anyone who whines, complains, or displays a negative attitude without providing a solution has to pay LE 2, that will be later used either for charity or to get us a Cilantro treat (still not settled :D)... my first thought, "If K had taken 2 pounds for everytime i whined to him...." why he wouldnt have taken anything of course!


Karembu and Duke are coming next week.. Another reason i like Winter, its season of migrating to the South :D everyone comes back to Egypt for the holidays... Almost everyone...

And... We're Back

In a sudden turn of events, mood is much better! Went Zamalek on my own. Walked a while then went Diwan. For someone who hasnt seen a really good book in a long while, i was thrilled when i found a GREAT book (a non-fiction, business-oriented one ya K!) Zeww had told me about it (will blog it out later).. Anyway, had a great cup of lemon tea while i sat and read almost all first part...

Great mood booster! :D

Life is tough (or is it?)

(my 3 weeks+ post is still in the incubator or something.. anyway.. )

So... I've been discovering a number of facts about myself.. I started feeling guilty whenever i am having leisure time.. yesterday i decided to just relax and enjoy the day off.. i couldnt.. I mean i ended up not doing anything alright, but i couldnt fight the guilt, and the constant nagging feeling that there is still stuff to be done.. I called Du for reassurance, WRONG MOVE! For her, leisure doesnt exist.. we're always behind on some master plan.. If I manage to finish all my work, then i should study something.. if i work and study, then am not taking care of my health and looks, not drinking enough water.. if i do all this, then am falling behind in family obligations.. she scares me! and after all this, you must remember to take time off to pamper yourself.. I told her this way you will grow old very fast.. you will be at 40 yrs, having done what people do in 50 yrs.. She thinks its quite the opposite: you grow old with regret when u feel you couldve done better... She thinks that me feeling guilty when am not doing anything is actually a very good sign.. Crazy Woman! and i am turning into one myself..

I started getting more and more nuclear each day.. Its not that i isolate myself from people or things, but i try to limit my exposure to the external world.. i have my team, my friends, my stuff, my books, my ideas/hopes/dreams.. and i dont find myself obliged to share these with anyone.. I get scared away pretty easily... dont want anything or anyone to tie my down.. This is all coming to me in a time where i realize am getting old(er).. I miss being young, i miss being able to make silly mistakes and get away with the "she's still young" excuse.. I miss being impartial to everything, being open to life, and being willing to embrace differences...

I am getting too much input from everyone and everything around me.. from the time i wake up, i am bombarded with choices.. what to wear, how to go, when to go, what to do.. Then i go, need to remember places and people and dates and times.. need to plan and think, then execute.. too much input... The thing is, i need every inch of my limited brain power to use it in more useful stuff.. But its getting wasted... I need to block out external noise, and concentrate!

Passing by university alwaya fills me with a mixture of emotions.. nostalgic longing, dreamy hopes, and silent "what if"s.. in Cilantro Tahrir now, sitting in the balcony alone.. Nancy was with me but left off to her course more than an hour ago.. and am staying for a couple more hrs..

Hmmm.... what else.. i like winter.. and i dont like my recent blog posts.. i like having a "formed opinion about everything" as Du calls it.. being able to define the tiniest details and how i relate to them.. Defining life as an array of likes and dislikes.. and a biiiiiiiiiig grey area...

I need to take time off to think.. And I need to adapt to growing up :D

Hallucinations

"I disregard the proportions, the measures, the tempo of the ordinary world. I refuse to live in the ordinary world as ordinary women. To enter ordinary relationships. I want ecstasy. I am a neurotic —in the sense that I live in my world. I will not adjust myself to the world. I am adjusted to myself."
~ Anaïs Nin

I love this woman.. check out her stuff (wont provide any links here).. this quote is one of the best things I've ever read. I need to write it down once in a while to remind myself of what I relate to and who I am..

So, short points:

• I've been composing one blog post for the past 3 weeks.. not able to finish it yet.. Writer's block.. Boredom.. Futility.. Call it what you may!
• Words I use a lot lately: Futile, pointless, as long as (and i say it in Arabic as "badam" not "madam", dont ask!), 3adi ba'a, tayeb, and "ay 7aga, i dont want to choose"
• Recently, a lot of people are starting to give me the kind of input that has no answer by "tayeb" :D Example: Person: "I was looking for blabla and i didnt find it".. Me: "tayeb".. Person: "what do i do now".. Me: "did you look somewhere else?".. Person: "No".. Me: "tayeb.. LOOK SOMEWHERE ELSE".. I used to enjoy people coming to me asking for help.. I still love it actually, but as a friend from uni used to say "Am not the nanny!"
• For almost the first time since i graduated, i went back to listening to Suzanne Vega again..
• Current playlist: Souad Massi, Elham Madfa'i, Suzanne Vega, and Tony Hanna..
• Karembu got me yet another Neil Gaiman book, Stardust ;) Perfect... the story of Tina that i never got to tell was that she got me his latest creation, Fragile Things.. from her oompa loompas.. Tina, you are sooooooooo cool.. Karembu, the book looks great (and used!).. We were fe sertak today at work a lot!

One word comes to mind now: impartial..


Bisous,
N.

Yet another cross-reference!

Read this all through (you dont have to do the comments)

http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2006/11/small_pleasures.html

Then read this:
http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2006/11/who_cant_be_hyp.html


Now, for some weird and unknown reason, i checked out Dilbert's blog before i go to work today, and read the Small Pleasures thing... And you know what? I _did_ have a good day... Just like magic! :D

Seriously, I want to write like this guy.. Really gets under my skin...


Bisous,
N.