i am staying up now to do some work (am too lazy to explain all this now fa later ba'a)
anyway so am talking to Kareem online... and i have this habit that i do when i get stuck for a reply on msn, i just go like writing gibberish.. (see post title for details ;)) Anyway, so i go like this.. at the same time i am trying to make Kareem understand something and he was trying to convince me with something (2 different issues.. i always multi-thread my conversations :D)
So all of a sudden i go like "Sometimes when am talking to you, i feel this is what you actually hear.. you hear Nagia saying "sdjkhnsdas siefw!!""
anyhooooo, i thought this is a bloggable thought! :D
i am working on a document that suuuuuuuuuucks.. actually the document itself is ok... but the document i am trying to streamline with is killing me... a clear sharp bright deadly plagiarised document! i am so shocked! i cant explain more.. anyway.. we all steal ideas, but there is an element of smartness that doesnt let you get caught!
Yalla ma3lesh! ;)
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Sunday, March 12, 2006
piece of my mind..
She sits in her corner
Singing herself to sleep
Wrapped in all of the promises
That no one seems to keep
She no longer cries to herself,
No tears left to wash away
Just diaries of empty pages,
Feelings gone astray
But she will sing
'Till everything burns
While everyone screams
Burning their lies
Burning my dreams
All of this hate
And all of this pain
I'll burn it all down
As my anger reigns
'Till everything burns
Been listening to this song on my way to work this morning.. It's a lovely song.. aside from the dark lyrics, its really good..
I was thinking of stuff to post on my way here but they totally slipped my mind now... Anyway, i spent an extremely lazy weekend... i needed it i think.. I managed to finish NG's book :D it was a lovely lovely read... it had to have a bit of a visual description that made me hurt (he is a bit violent sometimes in his stories) but it was nice all the same....
It was a story about stories, and about songs..
Maybe now i will officially start "I saw Ramallah", and maybe not.. i dont live in a fantasy land, and i wont mind reading something that painful.. its just that i started it and it didnt "catch" me so am not that interested to go on.. I mean i tried Ghassan Kanafani and i liked him.. altho he wrote about politics and pain.. i like Mahmoud Darwish, a palestinian poet who captures all scenes in his words.. but i didnt feel this one captured me.. i will give it a chance tho.. being the accomodating person that i am :D and i will see how it goes...
hmmmm... what else.. kefaya keda for the day...
Ah, last week, on Thurs, Sherif arranged an HR breakfast at Chantilly for all the HR dept, and guess what, they asked me to join.. me and Wael -company president- (i dont write full names to reduce the google-ability! ;)) anyway.. so i was telling SA that i now belong in the "friends of HR" club.. aslan i stayed longer in the dept than any of the girls present there now, so i think i earned the honorary degree :D
one last note, i noticed that the comments area of my posts is designed mainly so that my humble readers exchange comments among each other with no referance whatsoever to the witty post by me :D
Cheers,
N.
Singing herself to sleep
Wrapped in all of the promises
That no one seems to keep
She no longer cries to herself,
No tears left to wash away
Just diaries of empty pages,
Feelings gone astray
But she will sing
'Till everything burns
While everyone screams
Burning their lies
Burning my dreams
All of this hate
And all of this pain
I'll burn it all down
As my anger reigns
'Till everything burns
Been listening to this song on my way to work this morning.. It's a lovely song.. aside from the dark lyrics, its really good..
I was thinking of stuff to post on my way here but they totally slipped my mind now... Anyway, i spent an extremely lazy weekend... i needed it i think.. I managed to finish NG's book :D it was a lovely lovely read... it had to have a bit of a visual description that made me hurt (he is a bit violent sometimes in his stories) but it was nice all the same....
It was a story about stories, and about songs..
Maybe now i will officially start "I saw Ramallah", and maybe not.. i dont live in a fantasy land, and i wont mind reading something that painful.. its just that i started it and it didnt "catch" me so am not that interested to go on.. I mean i tried Ghassan Kanafani and i liked him.. altho he wrote about politics and pain.. i like Mahmoud Darwish, a palestinian poet who captures all scenes in his words.. but i didnt feel this one captured me.. i will give it a chance tho.. being the accomodating person that i am :D and i will see how it goes...
hmmmm... what else.. kefaya keda for the day...
Ah, last week, on Thurs, Sherif arranged an HR breakfast at Chantilly for all the HR dept, and guess what, they asked me to join.. me and Wael -company president- (i dont write full names to reduce the google-ability! ;)) anyway.. so i was telling SA that i now belong in the "friends of HR" club.. aslan i stayed longer in the dept than any of the girls present there now, so i think i earned the honorary degree :D
one last note, i noticed that the comments area of my posts is designed mainly so that my humble readers exchange comments among each other with no referance whatsoever to the witty post by me :D
Cheers,
N.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Just because..
"You are so terribly nimble, so clever. I distrust your cleverness. You make a wonderful pattern, everything is in its place, it looks convincingly clear, too clear. And meanwhile, where are you? Not on the clear surface of your ideas, but you have already sunk deeper, into darker regions, so that one only thinks one has been given all your thoughts, one only imagines you have emptied yourself in that clarity. But there are layers and layers -- you're bottomless, unfathomable. Your clearness is deceptive. You are the thinker who arouses most confusion in me, most doubt, most disturbance."
~Anaïs Nin, August 1932 "Henry and June"
I disregard the proportions, the measures, the tempo of the ordinary world. I refuse to live in the ordinary world as ordinary women. To enter ordinary relationships. I want ecstasy. I am a neurotic —in the sense that I live in my world. I will not adjust myself to the world. I am adjusted to myself.
~ Anaïs Nin, March 25, 1933
I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.
~ Anaïs Nin, July 7, 1934
I love your silences, they are like mine. You are the only being before whom I am not distressed by my own silences. You have a vehement silence, one feels it is charged with essences, it is a strangely alive silence, like a trap open over a well, from which one can hear the secret murmur of the earth itself.
~ Anaïs Nin, "Je suis le plus malade des Surrealistes" Under A Glass Bell (1944)
(She is a French-American woman writer, born in my month but almost 80 yrs before me... funny how her writing seems so much modern :D)
~Anaïs Nin, August 1932 "Henry and June"
I disregard the proportions, the measures, the tempo of the ordinary world. I refuse to live in the ordinary world as ordinary women. To enter ordinary relationships. I want ecstasy. I am a neurotic —in the sense that I live in my world. I will not adjust myself to the world. I am adjusted to myself.
~ Anaïs Nin, March 25, 1933
I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.
~ Anaïs Nin, July 7, 1934
I love your silences, they are like mine. You are the only being before whom I am not distressed by my own silences. You have a vehement silence, one feels it is charged with essences, it is a strangely alive silence, like a trap open over a well, from which one can hear the secret murmur of the earth itself.
~ Anaïs Nin, "Je suis le plus malade des Surrealistes" Under A Glass Bell (1944)
(She is a French-American woman writer, born in my month but almost 80 yrs before me... funny how her writing seems so much modern :D)
Friday, March 03, 2006
Anansi, my new friend...
I saw it on display.. It was one of a kind, so i kept following it with my eyes everytime they change its place lest someone else would get it before me.. it was the end of the month and the financials were rough, so i didnt have what it takes to make it all mine.. Duke & Meyo wanted to get it to me but proudly i refused and waited....
Finally, it is mine..... Neil Gaiman's "Anansi Boys", the one copy that was in Virgin.. a lovely dark blue hardcover...
To get an idea of how i like this book, i even loved the dedication.. am in Chapter 3 now and it keeps getting better :)
I will only quote the dedication here:
"You know how it is, you pick up a book, flip to the dedication, and find that, once again, the author has dedicated a book to someone else and not to you.
Not this time.
Because we haven't yet met/have only a glancing acquaintance/are just crazy about each other/haven't seen each other in much too long/are in some way related/will never meet, but will, I trust, despite that, always think fondly of each other...
This one's for you.
With you know what, and you probably know why."
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! my patience has paid off... Neil has finally dedicated a book for *me*!
"With you know what, and you probably know why." for me was "With eternal awe and admiration, because you're worth it" ("Because am worth it" like the L'Oreal beauty campaign)
searching on google, i found MANY ppl who blogged the fact that they liked this particular dedication because it doesnt go like "this is for the readers or the fans or whatever"..
I would luv to attend a book signing once for some writer i like... please?
Finally, it is mine..... Neil Gaiman's "Anansi Boys", the one copy that was in Virgin.. a lovely dark blue hardcover...
To get an idea of how i like this book, i even loved the dedication.. am in Chapter 3 now and it keeps getting better :)
I will only quote the dedication here:
"You know how it is, you pick up a book, flip to the dedication, and find that, once again, the author has dedicated a book to someone else and not to you.
Not this time.
Because we haven't yet met/have only a glancing acquaintance/are just crazy about each other/haven't seen each other in much too long/are in some way related/will never meet, but will, I trust, despite that, always think fondly of each other...
This one's for you.
With you know what, and you probably know why."
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! my patience has paid off... Neil has finally dedicated a book for *me*!
"With you know what, and you probably know why." for me was "With eternal awe and admiration, because you're worth it" ("Because am worth it" like the L'Oreal beauty campaign)
searching on google, i found MANY ppl who blogged the fact that they liked this particular dedication because it doesnt go like "this is for the readers or the fans or whatever"..
I would luv to attend a book signing once for some writer i like... please?
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Those who see the light..
In his genius reformatory philosophical work "The Republic", Plato establishes the grounds for creating a republic in the most "optimum"/perfectionist way (for no other choice of word that popped in my head)... Not a kingdom or an empire, but a republic...
Now am not a person who enjoys old literature, but i really enjoyed reading The Republic and many of its critique articles... i even read much more than what was required back at uni.. It amazes you how a book written around 390 years B.C. has so much reform in it, and yet, no one listened... among other things, he talked about women's education! Actually, he had a plan drawn out for a close-to-perfect education system... one that we are currently getting closer to but yet so far..
Anyway, what am about to write now is an idea that possessed me in this book; the allegory of the cave.. An allegory is a story or a representation conveying a meaning deeper and higher than its literal meaning...
Plato's allegory goes that there is a cave with a large wall.. in this cave there is a set of prisoners tied to have their backs to the cave's entrance and are facing the huge wall... behind them, outside the entrance there is an enormous fire.. sometimes people and animals pass outside the entrance and between the fire and the cave, thus casting shadows on the wall.... the prisoners -having never seen the outside- mistake these shadows for the real thing.. the voices of the people outside reflect as echo on the wall, and appear to the prisoners to be coming out of the shadows on the wall...
So mainly the prisoners see shadows and hear echoes... now imagine a prisoner was released and goes outside... he would be blinded by the sun (or at night-time by the fire), then as he slowly adjusts to reality, he will start to see things as they are... he will "see the light"..
Having seen the light, it is the free man's duty, even his obligation, to go back to the cave and 'enlighten' his fellow men.... once he goes back to the cave, his eyes will have trouble adjusting to total darkness again, he would have to step into the darkness again to free/enlighten his fellow prisoners.... Only to be faced by resistance from those not wanting to be freed... those who are happy with the only truth they ever knew: the shadows and the echos...
Do we choose to stay in the dark? do those who think they see the light really see it, or is it a mere representation on a huge wall??
Signing off,
N.
P.S. check wikipedia's allegory of the cave article..
Now am not a person who enjoys old literature, but i really enjoyed reading The Republic and many of its critique articles... i even read much more than what was required back at uni.. It amazes you how a book written around 390 years B.C. has so much reform in it, and yet, no one listened... among other things, he talked about women's education! Actually, he had a plan drawn out for a close-to-perfect education system... one that we are currently getting closer to but yet so far..
Anyway, what am about to write now is an idea that possessed me in this book; the allegory of the cave.. An allegory is a story or a representation conveying a meaning deeper and higher than its literal meaning...
Plato's allegory goes that there is a cave with a large wall.. in this cave there is a set of prisoners tied to have their backs to the cave's entrance and are facing the huge wall... behind them, outside the entrance there is an enormous fire.. sometimes people and animals pass outside the entrance and between the fire and the cave, thus casting shadows on the wall.... the prisoners -having never seen the outside- mistake these shadows for the real thing.. the voices of the people outside reflect as echo on the wall, and appear to the prisoners to be coming out of the shadows on the wall...
So mainly the prisoners see shadows and hear echoes... now imagine a prisoner was released and goes outside... he would be blinded by the sun (or at night-time by the fire), then as he slowly adjusts to reality, he will start to see things as they are... he will "see the light"..
Having seen the light, it is the free man's duty, even his obligation, to go back to the cave and 'enlighten' his fellow men.... once he goes back to the cave, his eyes will have trouble adjusting to total darkness again, he would have to step into the darkness again to free/enlighten his fellow prisoners.... Only to be faced by resistance from those not wanting to be freed... those who are happy with the only truth they ever knew: the shadows and the echos...
Do we choose to stay in the dark? do those who think they see the light really see it, or is it a mere representation on a huge wall??
Signing off,
N.
P.S. check wikipedia's allegory of the cave article..
Monday, February 20, 2006
The world is flat!
when i saw this book @ Diwan, i thought it was a fiction book.. sort of like the Pratchett/Gaiman things i read :D.. turns out its a collection of political essays! Anyway, this reminds me of a Suzanne Vega song called "The World before Columbus"...............
about this song, Vega said "The idea of the world before Columbus came because I have a cat at home, and this cat scratched my eye -just playing, and it became infected and I had to wear an eyepatch for about a week. The thing I noticed was that the world was really flat seeing the world that way. It struck me as funny and I was writing it down and I said the world was as flat as the world before Columbus."
Read thru... and enjoy :) (you can listen to an excerpt of the song here
If your love were taken from me
Every color would be black and white
It would be as flat as the world before Columbus
That's the day that I lose half my sight
If your life were taken from me
All the trees would freeze in this cold ground
It would be as cruel as the world before Columbus
Sail to the edge and I'd be there looking down
Those men who lust for land
And for riches strange and new
Who love those trinkets of desire
Oh they never will have you
And they'll never know the gold
Or the copper in your hair
How could they weigh
the worth of you so rare
If your love were taken from me
Every light that's bright would soon go dim
It would be as dark as the world before Columbus
Down the waterfall and I'd swim over the brim
Those men who lust for land
And for riches strange and new
Who love those trinkets of desire
Oh they will never have you
And they'll never know the gold
Or the copper in your hair
How could they weigh
the worth of you so rare
about this song, Vega said "The idea of the world before Columbus came because I have a cat at home, and this cat scratched my eye -just playing, and it became infected and I had to wear an eyepatch for about a week. The thing I noticed was that the world was really flat seeing the world that way. It struck me as funny and I was writing it down and I said the world was as flat as the world before Columbus."
Read thru... and enjoy :) (you can listen to an excerpt of the song here
If your love were taken from me
Every color would be black and white
It would be as flat as the world before Columbus
That's the day that I lose half my sight
If your life were taken from me
All the trees would freeze in this cold ground
It would be as cruel as the world before Columbus
Sail to the edge and I'd be there looking down
Those men who lust for land
And for riches strange and new
Who love those trinkets of desire
Oh they never will have you
And they'll never know the gold
Or the copper in your hair
How could they weigh
the worth of you so rare
If your love were taken from me
Every light that's bright would soon go dim
It would be as dark as the world before Columbus
Down the waterfall and I'd swim over the brim
Those men who lust for land
And for riches strange and new
Who love those trinkets of desire
Oh they will never have you
And they'll never know the gold
Or the copper in your hair
How could they weigh
the worth of you so rare
Monday, February 06, 2006
Of Lady Godiva, Cats, and Bookmarks (Addendum)
Bey2ollak eno Lady Godiva was married to a guy who enforced really harsh taxes on his people.. The lady, being of a kind heart, tried to talk her husband out of it... the people told her eno please talk to him w keda.. So her husband, a guy who obviously enjoys a good laugh, made a bet with her that if she would ride through the city totally naked except for her long hair, he would reduce/cancel the taxes...
Lady Godiva said "ok eshta cool" (she said them in that order).. and she makes a deal with the people of the city that they stay inside and close their windows while she rides through the streets.. the people say "mashi ok" (after all, she is doing *them* a favor fa 3eib ya3ni!)
They all stick to their word, except for one who makes holes in the window shutters and peeps at her.. Hence the term "Peeping Tom" :)
you can read the Wikipedia article about that....
Now this talk about Lady Godiva is because this name also refers to one of the world's best chocolate companies, Godiva.
Yesterday, i received Duke's and Duchess' bday gift.. they took me out to dinner (actually "linner", a lunch/dinner combination) at Chilis, then gave me a box of Godiva Truffles that he got from Brussels, an amazing coloful mug with two cats -their faces half-painted with golden from Frankfurt, and a painted calendar that is also twelve bookmarks (each month is taken out to make a separate bookmark) that Meyo got me from Turkey :)
So, its an international gift (or gifts) :D
Read the previous post if you didnt, i blogged twice today! :)
Lady Godiva said "ok eshta cool" (she said them in that order).. and she makes a deal with the people of the city that they stay inside and close their windows while she rides through the streets.. the people say "mashi ok" (after all, she is doing *them* a favor fa 3eib ya3ni!)
They all stick to their word, except for one who makes holes in the window shutters and peeps at her.. Hence the term "Peeping Tom" :)
you can read the Wikipedia article about that....
Now this talk about Lady Godiva is because this name also refers to one of the world's best chocolate companies, Godiva.
Yesterday, i received Duke's and Duchess' bday gift.. they took me out to dinner (actually "linner", a lunch/dinner combination) at Chilis, then gave me a box of Godiva Truffles that he got from Brussels, an amazing coloful mug with two cats -their faces half-painted with golden from Frankfurt, and a painted calendar that is also twelve bookmarks (each month is taken out to make a separate bookmark) that Meyo got me from Turkey :)
So, its an international gift (or gifts) :D
Read the previous post if you didnt, i blogged twice today! :)
clumps and chunks..
* What am reading
I spent last weekend (not the one that just passed, the one before it) sick in bed.. Thursday night i was with Kareem, Meyo, and Sherif in City stars then i decided i cant stay any longer because am starting to feel dizzy and drained so i went home.. Anyway so it turned out i spent the whole weekend in bed with a bit of a fever and totally drained of energy.. during this weekend i finished two *lovely* books.. The Solitare Mystery for Jostein Gaarder (the author of Sophie's World) and "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" by Mark Haddon. Weirdly enough, both books were such a joy to read... they both belong to the Karim Sobhi's collection that i claimed as mine :D It's been such a long time since i last read something that impressed me, and both books, esp. the second, got me totally hooked!! i definitely recommend them.... the week after that i didnt read anything of value (i discovered that i started to sleep late, which makes it hard to read in bed these days).. i think i might start with "I Saw Ramallah" for Mourid Barghouti... unfortunately it is out of print, so i could only get the English translation.. I think i will try to start on it tonight...
* Bloggable thoughts
Kareem claims i always steal his thoughts when we're talking and we come up with something and i go like "This is totally a bloggable thought" :D Thr truth is, it is usually something we both come up with.... You need to learn to share the credit ;)
One of *our* latest bloggable thoughts say that since both our phone bills exploded dramatically in the past months, then Vodafone and Mobinil are probably spending each night celebrating... dancing the night away, and opening champagne bottles in the glory of another day added to our bills :D
* Birthday
Last Wednesday was my birthday... (am starting to get bored now and thinking to call this blog off, but no i will go on).... Celebrating this glorious occasion, ppl at work got me a cake and surprised (as in _really_ surprised me) at my cubicle... i knew they were going to do something for me... it gets very predictable when u find ppl who hardly know you saying Happy Birthday and all :D Then something funny happened, one of my friends was like "sorry i wont be able to make tonite to Viking" so i was like totally silent.. fa she said "uh-oh did i screw it up?" i said i think so coz i dont know what ur talking about.. so another friend says that they were planning to do something for me but when they knew that am going out with Kareem, they changed their minds and decided to make it another day so pretend u didnt hear anything blablabla.... So Kareem picks me up at 7.... i initially think we're going to dine in Zamalek (he said Zamalek somewhere in his talks).. turns out we're staying in helio... he tells me he got me gift vouchers from Diwan and Virgin so that i might get whatever i want and all... i think "Bummer! i hate to pick my own gifts" but i tell him its cool and thank you but u have to choose them with me and all.. anyway, so he says i made us a reservation at Viking since u wanna go, so i tell him the story of the ppl at work and do u still wanna go, he says yes... so i think ok i wont burst his bubble...
To cut an extremely long story short: he organized a bday for me and invited my friends and our common friends... the place wasnt as good as we thought but i sooooooooooooo wanted to try it, so i got my wish... i had an extremely nice time... _and_ he didnt get me gift vouchers after all, he got me a lovely Esprit watch :D (i've been wanting a wristwatch for so long but i didnt expect one).. Thank you everyone :)
some ppl i wanted to see but couldnt:
-Duke; he was in Brussels, couldnt call me coz my fone was dead (as da wife told me).. but Mayo Ze Lovely came and it was enough..
-Karembu & Chris; in the states, and i had to remind Karim of my bday anyway
- Nevine Fouda, Nevine Nabil (who was an essential part of the work bday along with Zeww), Emy... were in Cairo but had excuses...
* Google-able!
i discovered that blogspot is highly google-able.. hence, i decided to try and not use any words that are highly searchable... i like to believe i can somehow restrict access to my blog.. (even tho am publishing my thoughts on the World Wide Web :))
* Quotables ;)
You live and learn. At any rate, you live. ~Douglas Adams
The saddest song you ever heard - the most you said with just one word
The loneliest prayer you ever prayed - the truest vow you ever made
What makes you laugh, what makes you cry
What makes you mad, what gets you by
You highest high, your lowest low - these things I want to know
I wanna know you - like I know myself
I’m waitin’ for you - there ain’t no one else
Talk to me baby - scream and shout
I wanna know you - inside out
~ Bryan Adams, Inside Out
Cheers,
N.
p.s. Another addendum to this post will come later today :)
I spent last weekend (not the one that just passed, the one before it) sick in bed.. Thursday night i was with Kareem, Meyo, and Sherif in City stars then i decided i cant stay any longer because am starting to feel dizzy and drained so i went home.. Anyway so it turned out i spent the whole weekend in bed with a bit of a fever and totally drained of energy.. during this weekend i finished two *lovely* books.. The Solitare Mystery for Jostein Gaarder (the author of Sophie's World) and "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" by Mark Haddon. Weirdly enough, both books were such a joy to read... they both belong to the Karim Sobhi's collection that i claimed as mine :D It's been such a long time since i last read something that impressed me, and both books, esp. the second, got me totally hooked!! i definitely recommend them.... the week after that i didnt read anything of value (i discovered that i started to sleep late, which makes it hard to read in bed these days).. i think i might start with "I Saw Ramallah" for Mourid Barghouti... unfortunately it is out of print, so i could only get the English translation.. I think i will try to start on it tonight...
* Bloggable thoughts
Kareem claims i always steal his thoughts when we're talking and we come up with something and i go like "This is totally a bloggable thought" :D Thr truth is, it is usually something we both come up with.... You need to learn to share the credit ;)
One of *our* latest bloggable thoughts say that since both our phone bills exploded dramatically in the past months, then Vodafone and Mobinil are probably spending each night celebrating... dancing the night away, and opening champagne bottles in the glory of another day added to our bills :D
* Birthday
Last Wednesday was my birthday... (am starting to get bored now and thinking to call this blog off, but no i will go on).... Celebrating this glorious occasion, ppl at work got me a cake and surprised (as in _really_ surprised me) at my cubicle... i knew they were going to do something for me... it gets very predictable when u find ppl who hardly know you saying Happy Birthday and all :D Then something funny happened, one of my friends was like "sorry i wont be able to make tonite to Viking" so i was like totally silent.. fa she said "uh-oh did i screw it up?" i said i think so coz i dont know what ur talking about.. so another friend says that they were planning to do something for me but when they knew that am going out with Kareem, they changed their minds and decided to make it another day so pretend u didnt hear anything blablabla.... So Kareem picks me up at 7.... i initially think we're going to dine in Zamalek (he said Zamalek somewhere in his talks).. turns out we're staying in helio... he tells me he got me gift vouchers from Diwan and Virgin so that i might get whatever i want and all... i think "Bummer! i hate to pick my own gifts" but i tell him its cool and thank you but u have to choose them with me and all.. anyway, so he says i made us a reservation at Viking since u wanna go, so i tell him the story of the ppl at work and do u still wanna go, he says yes... so i think ok i wont burst his bubble...
To cut an extremely long story short: he organized a bday for me and invited my friends and our common friends... the place wasnt as good as we thought but i sooooooooooooo wanted to try it, so i got my wish... i had an extremely nice time... _and_ he didnt get me gift vouchers after all, he got me a lovely Esprit watch :D (i've been wanting a wristwatch for so long but i didnt expect one).. Thank you everyone :)
some ppl i wanted to see but couldnt:
-Duke; he was in Brussels, couldnt call me coz my fone was dead (as da wife told me).. but Mayo Ze Lovely came and it was enough..
-Karembu & Chris; in the states, and i had to remind Karim of my bday anyway
- Nevine Fouda, Nevine Nabil (who was an essential part of the work bday along with Zeww), Emy... were in Cairo but had excuses...
* Google-able!
i discovered that blogspot is highly google-able.. hence, i decided to try and not use any words that are highly searchable... i like to believe i can somehow restrict access to my blog.. (even tho am publishing my thoughts on the World Wide Web :))
* Quotables ;)
You live and learn. At any rate, you live. ~Douglas Adams
The saddest song you ever heard - the most you said with just one word
The loneliest prayer you ever prayed - the truest vow you ever made
What makes you laugh, what makes you cry
What makes you mad, what gets you by
You highest high, your lowest low - these things I want to know
I wanna know you - like I know myself
I’m waitin’ for you - there ain’t no one else
Talk to me baby - scream and shout
I wanna know you - inside out
~ Bryan Adams, Inside Out
Cheers,
N.
p.s. Another addendum to this post will come later today :)
Monday, January 30, 2006
Don't think twice...
(I knew that song a long time ago.. and for some reason it reminds me of Mai -Duchess-, we sang it together the "dont think twice its alright" line only :) I luv its lyrics and its melody.. Enjoy)
It ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
It don't matter, anyhow
An' it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
If you don't know by now
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Look out your window and I'll be gone
You're the reason I'm trav'lin' on
Don't think twice, it's all right
It ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
That light I never knowed
An' it ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
I'm on the dark side of the road
Still I wish there was somethin' you would do or say
To try and make me change my mind and stay
We never did too much talkin' anyway
So don't think twice, it's all right
It ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
Like you never did before
It ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
I can't hear you any more
I'm a-thinkin' and a-wond'rin' all the way down the road
I once loved a woman, a child I'm told
I give her my heart but she wanted my soul
But don't think twice, it's all right
I'm walkin' down that long, lonesome road, babe
Where I'm bound, I can't tell
But goodbye's too good a word, gal
So I'll just say fare thee well
I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don't mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don't think twice, it's all right
It ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
It don't matter, anyhow
An' it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
If you don't know by now
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Look out your window and I'll be gone
You're the reason I'm trav'lin' on
Don't think twice, it's all right
It ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
That light I never knowed
An' it ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
I'm on the dark side of the road
Still I wish there was somethin' you would do or say
To try and make me change my mind and stay
We never did too much talkin' anyway
So don't think twice, it's all right
It ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
Like you never did before
It ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
I can't hear you any more
I'm a-thinkin' and a-wond'rin' all the way down the road
I once loved a woman, a child I'm told
I give her my heart but she wanted my soul
But don't think twice, it's all right
I'm walkin' down that long, lonesome road, babe
Where I'm bound, I can't tell
But goodbye's too good a word, gal
So I'll just say fare thee well
I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don't mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don't think twice, it's all right
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Of CrocoNile, Inherently Happy People, and Books
Last Thursday we were going out with Mai & Sherif (a.k.a Duchess and Duke) for movies and/or dinner... So, Kareem was telling me online that Heba is telling him to come to dinner(Heba is our friend from uni, our here refer to M & S & myself).. first he says eno heba says Croconile is cute then says about the dinner.. (for those who dont know, Croconile is the embelm for the African Cup thats going on these days).. so we go to Chilis and heba doesnt come.. while we're there, the TV shows that funny Crocodile and i go like "hey hey Kareem its your friend" and he draws the blankest expression. And again i say "Kareem its the one you and heba like", again no response.. so i go like "ok whatever may be he doesnt want to talk oddam mai and sherif about it, but why? Is it embarrassing to like the logo?" (altho i personally hate it.. it looks childish!)
Anyway, so last night am on the fone with him and i bring up this issue.. and guess what.... he goes like "aaahh CrocoNile!!! She was talking about Chilis so when she said CrocNile i thought it was a place like Nile City keda.. and we were in Chilis i had no idea why you kept telling me here is your crocodile friend" i laugh so hard that it hurts and i claim this thought as MY bloggable thought (to his discontent tab3an!) So, here goes!
I am an Inherently Happy Person.. meaning, i have my ups and downs, and many many times am in the blackest of moods, but even in these times, i am able to enjoy life and to savor it.. i try to sieze oppurtunities and to make them a reason of happiness and contentment... So last night (in the same call) i tell Kareem that he is sooooooooo not like that and i decide that he probably has a book with dark thoughts to remind him of dark thoughts whenever he is happy so that he doesnt forget himself in this happiness... He says yes on his bedside table i have this "Advanced Darkness" book and then he comes back at me by saying that on MY bedside table i probably have the "The Road to Lala Land for Dummies", who in his opinion dont need it since Dummies are already in their lala land.... another bloggable thought inspired by him... and by the way, i luv Lala land :D
Books... I finished TP's "Last Hero" yday.. it was VERY cool.. esp that it was illustrated as well... Last night i started and finished "The Wolves in the Wall" for Neil Gaiman.. i got a group of books that Karim (not Kareem) wanted to deliver to his family, and i decided (after his permission ;)) to read the ones i like first before delivering them... I will start with "The Solitaire Mystery" by Jostein Gaarder (same author of Sophie's World), it seems like a *very* interesting book.. we will see :) been sometime since i last read something that "moved" me....
One last note, last Friday, i am on the phone with Kareem and we're having a discussion.. 10 minutes later he calls me back, tells me to come down in 5 mins coz he's on the way... anyway, turns out he got me a hot apple pie that his mom just made (because i had once -jokingly- asked him for one)... a whole warm apple pie dish... a delicious one... sank you kareem and isA you will try mine one day ;) (he already tried my lemon meringue pie once :D)
Zat's it for the day...
Bisous,
N.
Anyway, so last night am on the fone with him and i bring up this issue.. and guess what.... he goes like "aaahh CrocoNile!!! She was talking about Chilis so when she said CrocNile i thought it was a place like Nile City keda.. and we were in Chilis i had no idea why you kept telling me here is your crocodile friend" i laugh so hard that it hurts and i claim this thought as MY bloggable thought (to his discontent tab3an!) So, here goes!
I am an Inherently Happy Person.. meaning, i have my ups and downs, and many many times am in the blackest of moods, but even in these times, i am able to enjoy life and to savor it.. i try to sieze oppurtunities and to make them a reason of happiness and contentment... So last night (in the same call) i tell Kareem that he is sooooooooo not like that and i decide that he probably has a book with dark thoughts to remind him of dark thoughts whenever he is happy so that he doesnt forget himself in this happiness... He says yes on his bedside table i have this "Advanced Darkness" book and then he comes back at me by saying that on MY bedside table i probably have the "The Road to Lala Land for Dummies", who in his opinion dont need it since Dummies are already in their lala land.... another bloggable thought inspired by him... and by the way, i luv Lala land :D
Books... I finished TP's "Last Hero" yday.. it was VERY cool.. esp that it was illustrated as well... Last night i started and finished "The Wolves in the Wall" for Neil Gaiman.. i got a group of books that Karim (not Kareem) wanted to deliver to his family, and i decided (after his permission ;)) to read the ones i like first before delivering them... I will start with "The Solitaire Mystery" by Jostein Gaarder (same author of Sophie's World), it seems like a *very* interesting book.. we will see :) been sometime since i last read something that "moved" me....
One last note, last Friday, i am on the phone with Kareem and we're having a discussion.. 10 minutes later he calls me back, tells me to come down in 5 mins coz he's on the way... anyway, turns out he got me a hot apple pie that his mom just made (because i had once -jokingly- asked him for one)... a whole warm apple pie dish... a delicious one... sank you kareem and isA you will try mine one day ;) (he already tried my lemon meringue pie once :D)
Zat's it for the day...
Bisous,
N.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Me and my Frog Prince
Did I ever tell you about my Frog Prince? I think i did once when i mentioned my 3 beliefs.. (no i wont search back and put a link here for that post! Go and search if you want! :)
I have a stuffed frog prince holding a rose that my sister got to me, it resides on my desk at work (well, actually it currently resides on Ayssel's desk these days to bring her some sunshine)
Anyway, i thought i'd salute all the frog princes and princesses out there ;)
Had a long post in mind but am too lazy now...
Cheers,
N.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
* Saint Catherine
In Nerro's arabic blog, she talks about her trip to Saint Catherine.. i took a similar hike up 3, no 4, years ago... unfortunately we didnt manage to make it up in time for sunrise, but it was a glorious experience all the same.... I remember i was actually going to give up 10 stairs away from the top.. i just sat down and was like "you go on without me, i'll wait for you here!" (it wasnt the distance at all.. it was the cold.. i couldnt believe i can ever get that cold in Egypt..)
Anyway, so during the hike up, i was with a couple of girl friends (we were a big group but other ppl were either ahead or behind)... i like to take few breaks because i have a short breath so i prefer to walk and walk as much as i can take it because if i rest, it will take me long to regain my breathing.. so i move ahead of them while they rest until i reach a point where i have to rest... since i walk faster than average, i had like 45 minutes to kill until they catch up... during these 45 minutes a _lot_ of thinking went in my mind... and i mean a lot... i remember thinking so hard about stuff that tears started streaming down my face (a very stupid thing because they freeze on the spot :)) I just thought about many decisions that i made or was making at the time.. weirdly enough, back then i didnt have much to ponder about as much as i do now.. i could use a looooooong hike up in times like these :)
* What am reading
Finally finally finally i finished TP's discworld novel, Night Watch.... Duke, i'll return it to you soon... it was nice and all but still, may i never get that stuck in a book again... i think i will start Neil Gaiman's book of dreams that karembu got me (i can start with the Chris TP book, but too much TP is going to kill me! altho on 2nd thought, the book looks very inviting ;))....
* Song of the week....
Tired of Being Sorry by Ringside.. i didnt know the band or the song by i heard it on FM radio and loved it...
I don't know why
You want to follow me tonight
When the rest of the world
With whom I've crossed and I've quarreled
Let's me down so
For a thousand reasons that I know
To share forever the unrest
With all the demons I possess
Beneath the silver moon
Maybe you were right
But baby I was lonely
I don't want to fight
I'm tired of being sorry
* 2005: a Year in Review....
i started preparing for this post.. got (or borrowed ;)) the idea from Duke el sara7a :D
* My newest item
A colored scarf that Kareem got me last week :D i luv scarves, and this one is just soooooooooo cool.. it has all colors keda vertifcally, so the coolest thing is that it matches almost anything i can possibly think of wearing (not that i mind that my colors match anyway as long as i like them :D) we spent weeks aslan looking for one like this when we just ran into it in a shop's window by pure luck.. i luv it.. can i have another one?
In Nerro's arabic blog, she talks about her trip to Saint Catherine.. i took a similar hike up 3, no 4, years ago... unfortunately we didnt manage to make it up in time for sunrise, but it was a glorious experience all the same.... I remember i was actually going to give up 10 stairs away from the top.. i just sat down and was like "you go on without me, i'll wait for you here!" (it wasnt the distance at all.. it was the cold.. i couldnt believe i can ever get that cold in Egypt..)
Anyway, so during the hike up, i was with a couple of girl friends (we were a big group but other ppl were either ahead or behind)... i like to take few breaks because i have a short breath so i prefer to walk and walk as much as i can take it because if i rest, it will take me long to regain my breathing.. so i move ahead of them while they rest until i reach a point where i have to rest... since i walk faster than average, i had like 45 minutes to kill until they catch up... during these 45 minutes a _lot_ of thinking went in my mind... and i mean a lot... i remember thinking so hard about stuff that tears started streaming down my face (a very stupid thing because they freeze on the spot :)) I just thought about many decisions that i made or was making at the time.. weirdly enough, back then i didnt have much to ponder about as much as i do now.. i could use a looooooong hike up in times like these :)
* What am reading
Finally finally finally i finished TP's discworld novel, Night Watch.... Duke, i'll return it to you soon... it was nice and all but still, may i never get that stuck in a book again... i think i will start Neil Gaiman's book of dreams that karembu got me (i can start with the Chris TP book, but too much TP is going to kill me! altho on 2nd thought, the book looks very inviting ;))....
* Song of the week....
Tired of Being Sorry by Ringside.. i didnt know the band or the song by i heard it on FM radio and loved it...
I don't know why
You want to follow me tonight
When the rest of the world
With whom I've crossed and I've quarreled
Let's me down so
For a thousand reasons that I know
To share forever the unrest
With all the demons I possess
Beneath the silver moon
Maybe you were right
But baby I was lonely
I don't want to fight
I'm tired of being sorry
* 2005: a Year in Review....
i started preparing for this post.. got (or borrowed ;)) the idea from Duke el sara7a :D
* My newest item
A colored scarf that Kareem got me last week :D i luv scarves, and this one is just soooooooooo cool.. it has all colors keda vertifcally, so the coolest thing is that it matches almost anything i can possibly think of wearing (not that i mind that my colors match anyway as long as i like them :D) we spent weeks aslan looking for one like this when we just ran into it in a shop's window by pure luck.. i luv it.. can i have another one?
Friday, December 30, 2005
The time has come.....
"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."
~Lewis Carroll, The Walrus and the Carpenter (a very cool thing to read)
So, the time has come i think, to talk about everything.. basically talk with myself about everything in my life... it's the end of the year, time for employee performance appraisals :) so i thought what the hell, i might as well have an appraisal session for myself... contrary to what some might think, i am actually a harsh judge on myself.. I might not appear to you, the reader, as someone who has a clear view of where her life is going and a clear plan on how to get there.... but i do... yes, i may take the longer route, but come on, at least i enjoy the scenery :) and when am old and wrinkled, it's memories of the scenery that remain.. but i always keep my ultimate plans to myself... why? i dont know, i just like it better this way.. you dont get to discuss your plans with people and maybe need to defend them.. and you dont let ppl down when u make a change of plans.. plus, i dont like talk talk talk and no action.. i tell people about dreams, aspirations, sometimes.. but not about plans, unless it involves them.. but i do have some clear destinations in this cloudy head of mine :)
* What I'm reading
These days am still reading Terry Pratchett's Night Watch that i borrowed from Duke (btw, Duke and Da Wife and Ta77an and another friend are in Turkey now for new year's :)) ... i've been very slow on reading the past few weeks, thats why i didnt finish this book till now... When i finish it, my next read is ready: when Karim came he got me The Book of Dreams edited by Neil Gaiman.. its a collection of short stories by different writers about The Sandman and other Endless siblings (who were originally created by NG)
* A-HA, Travis, Oasis, Queen, and the rest..
These are all bands i learned to like from Du my friend... i just remembered because i listened to one song lately that reminded me.. Velvet for A-HA ("her skin is like velvet") a very very sweet song.. try it..
* Song of the post ;)
many many..... the one thats going thru my mind since i heard on the radio yday is Hunter for Dido... i luv her lyrics in general, and this one in particular is sooo cool...
I want to be a hunter again
I want to see the world alone again
To take a chance on life again
So let me go
Let me leave
(am pasting it so that it plays thru your head too :))
* ITWorx is now a CMMI Level 3 certified organization! :)
We just got certified today (well, technically yday since its 1 am).. for anyone who is interested, the CMMI-L3 model consists of 17 process areas.. Organizational Training is one of them, and it was my thing... apparently the indian appraisal guy was really impressed by the efforts of the training function (a.k.a ME!) and by how the measurements are collected effectively and used innovatively for improving the quality of training.. blablabla...
* Smells I like
Fresh rain
freshly brewed good coffee in open air
Good fresh bakery
libraries -more than bookstores- (there is this distinct smell to books...)
Baby powder
the "smell" of the air in a clean place (mountain/sea)
* I now noticed that my blog space is one year old.. From my last days in IBM :D
So much has happened since then, its like i'm going back in history when i read this..
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."
~Lewis Carroll, The Walrus and the Carpenter (a very cool thing to read)
So, the time has come i think, to talk about everything.. basically talk with myself about everything in my life... it's the end of the year, time for employee performance appraisals :) so i thought what the hell, i might as well have an appraisal session for myself... contrary to what some might think, i am actually a harsh judge on myself.. I might not appear to you, the reader, as someone who has a clear view of where her life is going and a clear plan on how to get there.... but i do... yes, i may take the longer route, but come on, at least i enjoy the scenery :) and when am old and wrinkled, it's memories of the scenery that remain.. but i always keep my ultimate plans to myself... why? i dont know, i just like it better this way.. you dont get to discuss your plans with people and maybe need to defend them.. and you dont let ppl down when u make a change of plans.. plus, i dont like talk talk talk and no action.. i tell people about dreams, aspirations, sometimes.. but not about plans, unless it involves them.. but i do have some clear destinations in this cloudy head of mine :)
* What I'm reading
These days am still reading Terry Pratchett's Night Watch that i borrowed from Duke (btw, Duke and Da Wife and Ta77an and another friend are in Turkey now for new year's :)) ... i've been very slow on reading the past few weeks, thats why i didnt finish this book till now... When i finish it, my next read is ready: when Karim came he got me The Book of Dreams edited by Neil Gaiman.. its a collection of short stories by different writers about The Sandman and other Endless siblings (who were originally created by NG)
* A-HA, Travis, Oasis, Queen, and the rest..
These are all bands i learned to like from Du my friend... i just remembered because i listened to one song lately that reminded me.. Velvet for A-HA ("her skin is like velvet") a very very sweet song.. try it..
* Song of the post ;)
many many..... the one thats going thru my mind since i heard on the radio yday is Hunter for Dido... i luv her lyrics in general, and this one in particular is sooo cool...
I want to be a hunter again
I want to see the world alone again
To take a chance on life again
So let me go
Let me leave
(am pasting it so that it plays thru your head too :))
* ITWorx is now a CMMI Level 3 certified organization! :)
We just got certified today (well, technically yday since its 1 am).. for anyone who is interested, the CMMI-L3 model consists of 17 process areas.. Organizational Training is one of them, and it was my thing... apparently the indian appraisal guy was really impressed by the efforts of the training function (a.k.a ME!) and by how the measurements are collected effectively and used innovatively for improving the quality of training.. blablabla...
* Smells I like
Fresh rain
freshly brewed good coffee in open air
Good fresh bakery
libraries -more than bookstores- (there is this distinct smell to books...)
Baby powder
the "smell" of the air in a clean place (mountain/sea)
* I now noticed that my blog space is one year old.. From my last days in IBM :D
So much has happened since then, its like i'm going back in history when i read this..
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Sliding Doors
I've always thought
that I would love to live by the sea
To travel the world alone
and live my life more simply
I have no idea what's happened to that dream
Cos there's really nothing left here to stop me
~ Dido, "Life for Rent"
So, it all starts at "I have no idea what's happened to that dream".. and i keep thinking what happened to a lot of dreams i had... i always wanted to travel abroad (to Europe) for work or study for a year or two.. i wanted to take up the academic career path (still not late for that).. hmmmm i wanted to maintain a healthy lifestyle (sleep early, wake up early, walk a lot, eat healthy, see a lot of fresh air.. i do all these but the eat healthy one, its not that i dont like healthy food but its that i eat healthy _and_ unhealthy :))
so, the title of this post refers to this.. to aaaaallllll the what if's in our lives.. all the other options and how our lives would've been similar/different...
Anyway, more about that later.. about broken dreams and unfulfilled promises...
* Bounce
a Bon Jovi song.. i wont paste the lyrics here, u can check them out yourselves (way to go Nag!).. Duke reminded me of that song yday because he said it suits my mood, or actually that my mood calls for it to lift me up :) It's all about "bouncing back again".. listen to it, it actually makes me smile instantly.....
* New Year's Resolutions (again!)
New Year is coming.. must add this year's unfulfilled resolutions and add new ones.. i decided to put a lot of small acheivable goals so that i feel some sense of accomplishment...
* Things I confuse :)
by this i mean stuff that get confused by me :) hmmmmm, i confuse the elevators of our Falaki bldg in university where our labs used to be in our last year.. they have the "double click on the button to cancel floor selection" option so i always pressed and cancelled many floors until the elevator (which is also equipped with voice message for special needs people) used to just open the doors and say some message like "please make up your mind" or something keda :)
I also confuse mobile phones and calculators by just doing many things at once...
And, i like to confuse my computer and overload it :D Right now i have 14 Outlook windows, 7 IEs, 2 folders, 2 Excel sheets, 3 Word docs, calculator and 1 MSN window... AND its still not 9:30 in the morning yet!! :)
* Favorite things
Caramel cappuccino @ Harris Cafe (they put this indulgent cream and caramel on top that makes it heavenly)
fresh orange juice (it has to be a bit sour)
lemon juice/ice cream.. in fact, lemon anything :)
cats
curly haired babies.. i just adore the gypsy bohemian look in a kid.. unlike my appearance now, i was a _very_ groomed kid, but i wont do that to my children.. clean doesnt have to mean groomed :)
salsa dancing.. i also like flamingo..
Cartoons
witty children books (and Diwan's children section)
that I would love to live by the sea
To travel the world alone
and live my life more simply
I have no idea what's happened to that dream
Cos there's really nothing left here to stop me
~ Dido, "Life for Rent"
So, it all starts at "I have no idea what's happened to that dream".. and i keep thinking what happened to a lot of dreams i had... i always wanted to travel abroad (to Europe) for work or study for a year or two.. i wanted to take up the academic career path (still not late for that).. hmmmm i wanted to maintain a healthy lifestyle (sleep early, wake up early, walk a lot, eat healthy, see a lot of fresh air.. i do all these but the eat healthy one, its not that i dont like healthy food but its that i eat healthy _and_ unhealthy :))
so, the title of this post refers to this.. to aaaaallllll the what if's in our lives.. all the other options and how our lives would've been similar/different...
Anyway, more about that later.. about broken dreams and unfulfilled promises...
* Bounce
a Bon Jovi song.. i wont paste the lyrics here, u can check them out yourselves (way to go Nag!).. Duke reminded me of that song yday because he said it suits my mood, or actually that my mood calls for it to lift me up :) It's all about "bouncing back again".. listen to it, it actually makes me smile instantly.....
* New Year's Resolutions (again!)
New Year is coming.. must add this year's unfulfilled resolutions and add new ones.. i decided to put a lot of small acheivable goals so that i feel some sense of accomplishment...
* Things I confuse :)
by this i mean stuff that get confused by me :) hmmmmm, i confuse the elevators of our Falaki bldg in university where our labs used to be in our last year.. they have the "double click on the button to cancel floor selection" option so i always pressed and cancelled many floors until the elevator (which is also equipped with voice message for special needs people) used to just open the doors and say some message like "please make up your mind" or something keda :)
I also confuse mobile phones and calculators by just doing many things at once...
And, i like to confuse my computer and overload it :D Right now i have 14 Outlook windows, 7 IEs, 2 folders, 2 Excel sheets, 3 Word docs, calculator and 1 MSN window... AND its still not 9:30 in the morning yet!! :)
* Favorite things
Caramel cappuccino @ Harris Cafe (they put this indulgent cream and caramel on top that makes it heavenly)
fresh orange juice (it has to be a bit sour)
lemon juice/ice cream.. in fact, lemon anything :)
cats
curly haired babies.. i just adore the gypsy bohemian look in a kid.. unlike my appearance now, i was a _very_ groomed kid, but i wont do that to my children.. clean doesnt have to mean groomed :)
salsa dancing.. i also like flamingo..
Cartoons
witty children books (and Diwan's children section)
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Addendum to the prev post :)
yes i know, 2 "written" posts in one day.. but this one is REALLY worth blogging because an event that should be noted has happened:
Nag switched off her phone! :) Seriously.. a once in a lifetime occurence that took a _lot_ of will.... well, actually it was done in a split second so that i dont change my mind :) :)
cheers,
N.
Nag switched off her phone! :) Seriously.. a once in a lifetime occurence that took a _lot_ of will.... well, actually it was done in a split second so that i dont change my mind :) :)
cheers,
N.
knicks and knacks
* Coldplay
I'm re-discovering Coldplay these days.. the start was the song called "Warning Sign" or something of the sort that goes like "and the truth is that i miss you".. and i found out i like many of their stuff...... I also discovered www.pandora.com which is a cool Gnome music project that introduces you to music similar to the one you like.. blablabla... try it out..
* Taola
I taught Kareem how to play taola and now we try to play whenever we get the chance... aaaaaand, i always beat him :) He always claims otherwise, but i do, i really do..
* Work
nah.... dont feel like talking about it... the weather seems amazimg and am stuck in a cage-like room :'(
* Say nighty-night and kiss me
Just hold me tight and tell me you’ll miss me
While I’m alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me
i like this song.... :) and i was recently thinking of the certain phenomenon of having to have someone to say good night to.. this someone could be a parent, a sister, a friend, a partner, whatever.. and i was thinking of how you sometimes pick someone just to fill that "someone to say goodnight to" syndrome.. hence, mismatched relations and friendships.. anyway am babbling :)
* Karim-bo
Karim is coming tonight... right now he is Amsterdam waiting for his flight.. he is online and bored... when karim comes there will be a lot of going out, movies, cooking :) and everything.. we will arrange something at Duke's place and will rebuild our past glories :)
* Am boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooored.... do something about it!
I'm re-discovering Coldplay these days.. the start was the song called "Warning Sign" or something of the sort that goes like "and the truth is that i miss you".. and i found out i like many of their stuff...... I also discovered www.pandora.com which is a cool Gnome music project that introduces you to music similar to the one you like.. blablabla... try it out..
* Taola
I taught Kareem how to play taola and now we try to play whenever we get the chance... aaaaaand, i always beat him :) He always claims otherwise, but i do, i really do..
* Work
nah.... dont feel like talking about it... the weather seems amazimg and am stuck in a cage-like room :'(
* Say nighty-night and kiss me
Just hold me tight and tell me you’ll miss me
While I’m alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me
i like this song.... :) and i was recently thinking of the certain phenomenon of having to have someone to say good night to.. this someone could be a parent, a sister, a friend, a partner, whatever.. and i was thinking of how you sometimes pick someone just to fill that "someone to say goodnight to" syndrome.. hence, mismatched relations and friendships.. anyway am babbling :)
* Karim-bo
Karim is coming tonight... right now he is Amsterdam waiting for his flight.. he is online and bored... when karim comes there will be a lot of going out, movies, cooking :) and everything.. we will arrange something at Duke's place and will rebuild our past glories :)
* Am boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooored.... do something about it!
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Snip-it ;) (not Snippet)
(Been in my drafts for a while now.. time to see the light :))
* The Merchant of Venice
(I watched the Al Pacino movie with Mai and Sherif a while ago.. it is highly recommended.. this a piece of Shylock monologue in the trial when asked why he wants Antonio's flesh.. Read it deeply and think.. Aren't we all the same (wo)man after all?)
To bait fish withal: if it feed nothing else, it will feed my revenge. He hath disgraced me, and hindered me half a million, laughed at my losses, mocked at my gains, scorned my nation, thwarted my bargains, cooled my friends, heated mine enemies; and what's his reason? I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that. If a Jew wrong a Christian, what is his humility? Revenge! If a Christian wrong a Jew, what should his sufferance be by Christian example? Why, revenge! The villainy you teach me I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction.
* Sister
My sister now knows the way to my blog.. It is scary :) Weirdly enough tho, it made her know a lot about me, stuff that never came up.. what i like and dont like blablabla...
* Pre-appraisal
it went fine... one time i will tell you all about it :):) now we're preparing for the formal appraisal in 2 weeks time.. wish us (and me) luck..
* Nermeena..
http://nermeena.blogspot.com This girl is a sweetheart really... very very sweet... thumbs up to her.. only met her like a couple of times but we talk a lot.. she is one good girl :D
i was planning to talk a lot but i dont feel like it :D
* The Merchant of Venice
(I watched the Al Pacino movie with Mai and Sherif a while ago.. it is highly recommended.. this a piece of Shylock monologue in the trial when asked why he wants Antonio's flesh.. Read it deeply and think.. Aren't we all the same (wo)man after all?)
To bait fish withal: if it feed nothing else, it will feed my revenge. He hath disgraced me, and hindered me half a million, laughed at my losses, mocked at my gains, scorned my nation, thwarted my bargains, cooled my friends, heated mine enemies; and what's his reason? I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that. If a Jew wrong a Christian, what is his humility? Revenge! If a Christian wrong a Jew, what should his sufferance be by Christian example? Why, revenge! The villainy you teach me I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction.
* Sister
My sister now knows the way to my blog.. It is scary :) Weirdly enough tho, it made her know a lot about me, stuff that never came up.. what i like and dont like blablabla...
* Pre-appraisal
it went fine... one time i will tell you all about it :):) now we're preparing for the formal appraisal in 2 weeks time.. wish us (and me) luck..
* Nermeena..
http://nermeena.blogspot.com This girl is a sweetheart really... very very sweet... thumbs up to her.. only met her like a couple of times but we talk a lot.. she is one good girl :D
i was planning to talk a lot but i dont feel like it :D
Sunday, November 20, 2005
I like it when its cold.. when am walking in the cold.. I came in a while ago..
Weird thing is, i was in a totally totally black mood.. Here's a thing about me, i really let myself down when am depressed.. the thing is, i am almost always cheerful, so its like i think of myself as the glue that keeps it all together.. if i collapse, what/who will keep this together... Dont get me wrong, its not like i carry the weight of the world on my shoulders.. but i just take it as my responsibility to feel good.. anyway, by seem weird act of fate, i ended up strolling the streets alone and all of a sudden Queen's "Love of my life" start playing in my head and i start thinking this will really be perfect if it starts to rain.. Somehow when i am in a gloomy mood and it starts raining, it instantly picks me up.. maybe the fact that the sky is crying as well makes me feel a little better :)
Anyway, i had a lot to say but somehow i cant say it now...
A real post is in store... in fact, i didnt mean to blog this post, i wanted to continue the other and post it... bass never mind....
Weird thing is, i was in a totally totally black mood.. Here's a thing about me, i really let myself down when am depressed.. the thing is, i am almost always cheerful, so its like i think of myself as the glue that keeps it all together.. if i collapse, what/who will keep this together... Dont get me wrong, its not like i carry the weight of the world on my shoulders.. but i just take it as my responsibility to feel good.. anyway, by seem weird act of fate, i ended up strolling the streets alone and all of a sudden Queen's "Love of my life" start playing in my head and i start thinking this will really be perfect if it starts to rain.. Somehow when i am in a gloomy mood and it starts raining, it instantly picks me up.. maybe the fact that the sky is crying as well makes me feel a little better :)
Anyway, i had a lot to say but somehow i cant say it now...
A real post is in store... in fact, i didnt mean to blog this post, i wanted to continue the other and post it... bass never mind....
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish
(I've always liked this guy.... i cant claim i know a lot about him, but i read enough about him to admire him.. try to read the whole thing thru.. go here for a commentary on the speech)
This is the text of the Commencement address delivered to the graduating class in Stanford University by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, on June 12, 2005.
I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.
The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?
It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.
And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
My second story is about love and loss.
I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.
I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.
During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.
I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.
My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.
I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.
This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.
Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.
Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
Thank you all very much.
This is the text of the Commencement address delivered to the graduating class in Stanford University by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, on June 12, 2005.
I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.
The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?
It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.
And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
My second story is about love and loss.
I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.
I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.
During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.
I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.
My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.
I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.
This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.
Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.
Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
Thank you all very much.
Monday, November 14, 2005
Blogging it out..
(Scenes from my life during the past period)
* Give me the smiley
the msn emoticon that goes like a normal smiley ":)" It just bugs me... it makes me feel like "i have nothing to say so i gave you a semi-smile" (for a person like me who's faintest smile is a grin, a smile without showing teeth is a "whatever" smiley).. so i came up with Kareem with this thing of calling it "dont give me the smiley" or "you gave me the smiley"
* What am reading
Terry Pratchett's "A Hat full of Sky"... a nice read.. not as good as Mort.. but its nice enough to read a bit everyday.. i dont know why i rarely read anything that "moves" me recently..
* Unnamed/Untamed feelings
Sometimes, i feel the slightest hints of the weirdest feelings.. you know.. like when something can just make you gloomy.. or you can feel your heart contract for a split second from the weirdest of events.. I thought i grew out of this phase.. apparently not.. I am very stressed out because of work.. i feel like my world is foggy.... but that shouldnt be it... i dont know.. maybe i shouldnt have written that down when am in this state.. i'd rather blog some lyrics that say it all... (but i wont :))
* A quote
"We're women. We have a double standard to live up to. " ~ Ally McBeal
* I'm feeling blocked again..
* Give me the smiley
the msn emoticon that goes like a normal smiley ":)" It just bugs me... it makes me feel like "i have nothing to say so i gave you a semi-smile" (for a person like me who's faintest smile is a grin, a smile without showing teeth is a "whatever" smiley).. so i came up with Kareem with this thing of calling it "dont give me the smiley" or "you gave me the smiley"
* What am reading
Terry Pratchett's "A Hat full of Sky"... a nice read.. not as good as Mort.. but its nice enough to read a bit everyday.. i dont know why i rarely read anything that "moves" me recently..
* Unnamed/Untamed feelings
Sometimes, i feel the slightest hints of the weirdest feelings.. you know.. like when something can just make you gloomy.. or you can feel your heart contract for a split second from the weirdest of events.. I thought i grew out of this phase.. apparently not.. I am very stressed out because of work.. i feel like my world is foggy.... but that shouldnt be it... i dont know.. maybe i shouldnt have written that down when am in this state.. i'd rather blog some lyrics that say it all... (but i wont :))
* A quote
"We're women. We have a double standard to live up to. " ~ Ally McBeal
* I'm feeling blocked again..
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